The Mission Briefing 2016: Mrs Hogan Writes a Letter
by Papa Bear Awards
Summary: "Dearest Rob, I met your old teacher today, and she had a great idea: she'd like to organize a story-writing contest for the students in her school, and with the way you're always battling boredom, she'd like you and your men to be the judges. Do you think you could find some people to help her with the organization?" THE RESULTS ARE COMPLETE! Start at chapter 40.
1. Chapter 1

_Bridgeport, December 13th._

 _Dearest Rob,_

 _How are you? Are your jailors still treating you fairly? I hope you are doing fine, and get enough to eat. Please tell me some more about how you are actually doing - you know your Mother has a neck of worrying about you!_

 _Back here in Bridgeport, things are getting on as normal. The winter has finally set in with some frost, but we still haven't gotten any snow. I do hope we will get some for Christmas at least. But that is still nearly two weeks away. I am looking forward to it, although another Christmas without you is not what I had hoped for. But as long as you are relatively safe, I can acquiesce in that._

 _Do you remember Mrs Simmons, your fifth grade teacher? I met her the other day, and we got talking. Of course I told her about your current situation, and how it's your job to keep several hundred men from going insane with boredom. Ever the teacher, she came up with an interesting idea: she is going to start a story writing contest in her school (your old school), with the children making up stories about your life in a prison camp behind enemy lines. And she would like you and your men to be the judges and everything - to help you keep them occupied!_

 _So what she proposes is, that you assign some men to help tabulate the nominations and votes, and that others could make nice awards for the winners. And some others could write a letter to every student who wins something. And I will try to gather a little committee to help Mrs Simmons organize everything._

 _What do you think? She seems really excited about the project, so I hope you won't let me down! Let me know as soon as you can._

 _My love as always,_

 _Your Mum._

* * *

Author's note: Yes, it's that time of year again. The Papa Bear Awards are approaching, and help is needed! See Forum XIII for further details!

Link: www. fanfiction dot net / topic/20365/144296965/

(take out the spaces and translate to internet speak)


	2. Chapter 2

_Bridgeport, January 11th._

 _Dearest Rob,_

 _Of course the mail is awfully slow around this time of year in any case, and with all those censors added, it's not getting any better. So I don't even know if you have received my letter about Mrs Simmons' story writing contest yet. Anyway, she went ahead and organized everything, and here is the result!_

 _As you can see, the children have been quite prolific. They wrote 112 stories for you and your men to judge, and they are eagerly looking forward to hearing from you and your men!_

 _I hope you will all enjoy reading the stories. From what I've seen in the passing, they have come up with some interesting adventures for you - the kind of adventures that I would much rather not have you getting into - but then again, I'm just your Mother... _

_Mrs Simmons also gave me some guidelines as to how she thinks the contest should be run. If you have any questions, let me know and I will ask her for clarification. But I do hope you will enjoy the children's stories - that they may relieve boredom for quite some time!_

 _Please write again soon. You know how I look forward to hearing from you._

 _All my love._

 _Your Mum._


	3. Chapter 3

**The PBA for Beginners**

.

The Papa Bear Awards is an annual game in which we elect the very best work in Hogan's Heroes fanfiction from the past year. It usually takes place between January and April, and has been around for several years – I believe since 2003.

We have several story categories, but we also elect the best portrayal of characters, the best quotes and the best teasers. Categories and rules have varied a bit over the years, but the basic idea has been the same: to elect and honour quality in Hogan's Heroes fanfiction.

The election process starts with a nominating round. Every HH fanfic author and every HH fanfic reader may nominate his favourites – this year 1 favourite in each category. It's not necessary to have read every story before you nominate – you can just nominate the best from among the stories you've read. And every nomination counts: one nomination is sufficient to continue to the voting round. (Only the most prestigious category "best story of 2015" works a bit different – more about that once we start the game in January.)

When all the nominations are in, they get published. And with so many stories to choose from, you may regard it as a great honour to have your work nominated out of so many others!

Once the nominations are published, the voting round begins. In this round, everyone has 3 votes in each category. But we do ask that you try and read everything nominated in a category before making your decision in that category – for how can you make a well considered decision if you're not acquainted with all the good stuff that others nominated? Regularly, you'll discover some real gems among the nominated work that you had missed during the year!

Of course it's not obligatory to participate in every category. If you are pressed for time, or if for example you don't like a certain category, you can just skip entire categories. As a matter of fact, the whole PBA is not obligatory at all. You can even choose to lurk in the dark, just having your stories out there and see what others think of them!

However, you don't have to feel obliged to stay away from nominating and voting just because you have stories participating this year. The majority of the nominators and voters in the PBA are in this position. As long as you can make an honest decision as to which story is best (and it may not always be your own), you are very welcome to participate. And rest assured: in order to prevent authors from shamelessly promoting their own work, we have a strict rule that authors cannot nominate their own work. Still, once someone else has nominated your work, you are indeed allowed to vote for it in the voting round :-)

Once all the votes are in, they will be tabulated. And the three winners in each category will be awarded a gold, a silver and a bronze Papa Bear Award. (Don't get your hopes up; it's nothing fancy – just a computer made pdf or jpg file :-) And of course the winners will get published in the next edition of The Stalag 13 Gazette here on the site!

* * *

And a few things to keep in mind:

.

The Papa Bear Awards are just a game.  
It's not a matter of life or death to win a Papa Bear Award.

.

Winning a Papa Bear Award will not grant you global fame.  
But it sure does feel good to know that your fellow HH authors appreciate your writing!

.

Participating in the Papa Bear Awards is free of charge.  
You won't win a million dollars with it either.

.

All HH stories that were completed during 2015 are in the PBA election by default.  
So you don't have to register to have them participate.  
(But feel free to tell us if you'd rather not have them participate.)

.

There is no reason to withdraw your work just because you feel shy.  
Let others be the judge of your writing, and you might just be surprised at their opinion.  
FYI: every year, there is a fair number of new authors who win awards.  
Even gold awards!

.

The number of votes in the voting round are not made public.  
Thus if your story got nominated, but doesn't get any votes in the voting round, you'll never know.  
Nor will anybody else.  
So no embarrassment.

.

With so many stories out there, it really is a great honour to get your work nominated out of so many others.  
Even if you don't win an award.

.

And if you don't get anything nominated - look around at the competition and you'll know there's no reason to feel bad.  
Just concentrate on the positive reviews you got for your work.  
And don't be discouraged: keep writing!

.

There is no reason to suddenly rush your stories to an end.  
It's fairly certain that there will be another PBA next year for you to participate in.

.

The Papa Bear Awards is an election of the best fanfiction work.  
It's about the _**quality of writing**_.  
It's not a contest to see who has the most friends.

.

If you'd like to check out the winners of the earlier editions of the PBA, you can find links to them in the Communities here on ffnet.  
Just click on the "Communities" link in the top righthand corner of the main HH story page.

.

The Papa Bear Awards are organized by HH fanfic authors and readers just like you.  
We dedicate a lot of time to it and have a lot of fun doing it, but we don't make any money with it.

.

And remember:

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!

We're only a PM or an email away!


	4. Chapter 4

**List of This Year's Categories**

.

A little overview of this year's categories,  
with links to the lists of their eligible stories:

.

 **Best story of 2015  
** The ultimate honour!  
 _(Note: slash and crossover stories are not eligible here)_

 _._

 **Best snapshot  
** The best story told in less than 1,000 words!

.

 **Best short story  
** (3 categories: **short comedy, short drama, short general story** )  
The best stories told in 1000 – 5000 words!

.

 **Best long story  
** (3 categories: **long comedy, long drama, long general story** )  
The best stories that took more than 5000 words to tell!

.

 **Best story based on an actual episode of the series**

 **.**

 **Best story based on a challenge**

 **.**

 **Most unique story**  
A story with a unique plot twist, unusual writing style,  
or one that is simply just strange and different and… well… unique!  
You've never read anything like it!

.

 **Best poem, filk or songfic**

 **.**

 **Best crossover story**

 **.**

 **Best slash story  
** _Note: due to their small number, the slash stories will not participate in the nominating round this year._  
 _Instead, they will all go straight to the voting round, where you can pronounce your judgement._

 _._

 **Best portrayal of a canon character  
** Who portrays the main Hogan's Heroes characters best?  
This is where you nominate the best portrayal of  
Hogan, Klink, Schultz, LeBeau, Newkirk, Kinch, Carter, Burkhalter and Hochstetter.

.

 **Best portrayal of a canon extra  
** Best character performance from any other regular or guest character who originates from the original TV-show,  
ranging from semi main cast member Baker to the merely mentioned Nimrod,  
from Frau Linkmeyer to Freddy,  
and from the sergeant of the motorpool to the guy on the back bunk in barracks 2.

.

 **Best original character  
** Best original (new) character created for a story that you would have enjoyed seeing in the actual TV-show.

.

 **Best portrayal of a visiting crossover character  
** Best portrayal of a character from another show in a Hogan's Heroes crossover.  
This can be interpreted both as 'portraying the character like s/he is in his/her own show'  
and as 'portraying a character in such a way that even someone who doesn't know the show where s/he comes from  
can see him/her as an understandable and well-developed character.

.

 **Best teaser**  
The most tickling teaser or summary that makes you want to read the story right away!

.

 **The best quotes**  
Here you may nominate 3.  
The most interesting (funniest or moving or silly or so very true or...) line or lines you've come across this year.  
But: – keep it short (in dialogue max statement - reply - reaction; in descriptive text max three lines (e.g. from capital to period))  
– and make sure it makes sense even outside its context.

.

* * *

 **Closing date for nominations:**

 _ **February 19th, 2016**_


	5. Chapter 5

The rules in the game of

 **THE PAPA BEAR AWARDS 2016**

Now accepting nominations for the stories completed in 2015!

* * *

 **Basic rule this year: nominate 1, vote for 3!**

So you may nominate 1 favourite in each category. Yes, only 1 this year!

The only exception is the category for *best quote* - there you may still nominate 3.

* * *

– You may nominate a story only once in the story categories . So if story A is both hilarious and unique, you´ll have to take your pick where you think it would do best: the comedy section or the most unique category. You cannot nominate the story in both categories.

 _Question: if I nominate my favourite story in (for example) the comedy section, can I still nominate characters, quotes and teasers from that story?_

 _Answer: Yes, you can. The restriction of one nomination per story applies_ _only_ _to the story categories (e.g. drama, comedy, general, snapshot, challenge, episode, unique, poetry and crossover). If you like, you could even nominate the teaser and all your quotes and characters from one single story. However, with so many stories to choose from..._ :-)

 _Question:_ _My favourite story is listed as drama, but I would like to nominate it in the general category. Can I do that?_

 _Answer:_ _Yes, you can. Drama, comedy and general stories are up to you to decide in which of those three categories you think they would fit best. However, snapshots, poetry and crossovers should be nominated in their own respective categories, and the stories that are eligible for the categories episode and challenge are given._

* * *

\- The nomination for *best story of 2015* works a little different. You may nominate 1 story there – the very very best! However, it depends on the overall number of nominations the story receives whether or not it will go to the voting round for *best story of 2015*. See FAQ.

Only in this category are you allowed to nominate a story you have nominated elsewhere as well (for example in best drama or based on an episode).

Mind you, crossover stories and slash stories are not eligible for *best story of 2015*.

* * *

– The best quote: this is the only category where you may nominate 3! But there are two strict rules to go by:

1) keep it short (in dialogue max statement - reply - reaction; in descriptive text max 3 lines (e.g. from capital to period)

2) it must make sense even outside its context.

Failing these two basic rules, the nomination will be refused. If there is still time, the nominator may send in another quote instead.

* * *

– You are free to skip nominating/voting in categories you're not interested in.

– No nominations of your own work in any category! Once your work has been nominated by someone else, you will be allowed to vote for it in the second round. But _nominating_ your own work is VERBOTEN.

* * *

– Nominations have to be signed with your name, your email address and – if you have one – your ffnet or AO3 pen name. The honour system applies!

– Nominations have to be in no later than **Friday, February 19th, 2016** , and the only way to send them in is by ffnet PM to Papa Bear Awards, or by email to papabearawards at yahoo dot com.

* * *

\- In case a story gets nominated in more than 2 story categories (not counting the *best story of 2015*), the author will be contacted to decide in which story categories this story will be competing in the voting round. If the author does not reply with a decision within a week, the PBA committee will make the decision instead.

\- Continued from last year: the categories for short and long drama, comedy and general stories are going to be exclusive. This means a story can only compete in *either* drama, *or* comedy, *or* general story. In case the nominators don't agree on where the story belongs, the author will be asked to choose in which category this story will be competing. If the author does not reply with a decision within a week, the PBA committee will make the decision instead.

Note: a story going to the voting round in both drama and comedy, or comedy and general, or general and drama is hereby no longer permitted. There is however no problem with combinations like drama/challenge, comedy/unique and general/episode.

– The list of nominees in each category will be published in the days following, and from there on, people will have approximately six weeks to cast their vote: 3 votes in each category. In that round, authors will be allowed to vote for their own work – once someone else has nominated it. This will be explained in more detail when the time has come.

* * *

– And a little reading guide: there is no need whatsoever to have read every story before sending in your nominations! Of course it's laudable to try and read all the stories before making your choice, but for many of us, it's hardly realistic considering the demands of real life.

If you don't have the time to read all the stories before the nomination deadline, just pick out the stories you remember that made a real impression on you, and that in your opinion deserve to go on to the final round. Unless of course you already read them all as soon as they were published. :-)

* * *

– And remember: the purpose of the Papa Bear Awards is to seek out and honour quality writing. It's not a social contest to see who has the most friends!

* * *

– A complete overview of the stories and the categories they've been assigned to can be found on the PBA homepage. They are listed there by category, by word count, and in alphabetical order, with a direct link to each and every one of them.  
Homepage: **www. konarciq dotnet / fanfiction / PapaBearAwards / index. html**  
(translate to internet speak and take out the spaces)

* * *

– Note: if you know of any stories missing (perhaps outside ffnet?), please contact us as soon as possible to correct the matter!

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to contact us at papabearawards at yahoo dot com.

* * *

 **Closing date for nominations:**

 _ **February 19th, 2016**_


	6. Chapter 6

**FAQ**

.

 **Q: What is the purpose of the Papa Bear Awards?**

A: The purpose of the Papa Bear Awards is to seek out and give recognition to quality writing, and to acquaint fellow authors and readers with the best work in the fandom of Hogan's Heroes.

* * *

 **Q: How does the PBA work?**

A: First the authors and readers of Hogan's Heroes fanfiction nominate the works completed during 2015 that they consider to be of outstanding quality. All the nominated work goes to the voting round*, in which both authors and readers decide which works are really the very, very best of this past year.  
* An exception is the category *best story of 2015*. See _Q: How does the nomination for *best story of 2015* work?_

* * *

 **Q: How do I know which stories are eligible?**

A:You can find the complete listings on the PBA website:  
 **www. konarciq dotnet / fanfiction / PapaBearAwards / index. html**  
(translate to internet speak and take out the spaces)

* * *

 **Q: Where do I send my nominations and votes?**

A: You can send them by email to papabearawards at yahoo dot com, alternatively to Papa Bear Awards by ffnet PM.

* * *

 **Q: What exactly are those word counts?**

A: Snapshots are stories of less than 1,000 words.  
Short stories (comedy, drama, general) are between 1,000 and 5,000 words.  
Long stories (comedy, drama, general) are those that have more than 5,000 words.  
The other story categories do not have a division by word count.

* * *

 **Q: This story has 5100 words. Can I nominate it for short story?**

A: No, you can't. The division by word count in the categories drama, comedy, general and snapshot is very strict. No exceptions!

* * *

 **Q: This poem has only 400 words. Can I nominate it as a snapshot?**

A: You could, but due to their special character, poems, filks and songfics should preferably be nominated in their own category, where they compete with works of a similar kind. PBA history has shown that they tend to stand little or no chance in 'normal' story categories. Unless of course you think it to be of such outstanding quality that it merits being nominated as *best story of 2015*!

* * *

 **Q: Where do I nominate a story that is listed as (for example) friendship/hurt-comfort? There is** **no category for those!**

A: When there is no clear category assignment, the author has left the choice entirely up to you. So you may decide for yourself whether you think it would fit best as comedy, drama, general, unique etc.

* * *

 **Q: My favourite story is listed as drama, but I would like to nominate it in the general** **category. Can I do that?**

A: Yes, you can. Only crossovers and slash stories should be kept within their own category – simply because of their very different nature, their limited audience, and because practice has shown that they don't really stand a chance elsewhere. For the others, the choice is pretty much up to you – although it's advisable to keep the poetry in its own category as well. But for the rest, the given genres of drama, humor, general, family, adventure etc are merely a guideline to help you find your way.  
Note: this year we do have one slash story eligible in the episode category and one crossover story eligible in the challenge category. Their eligibility there is certainly legit; we'll wait and see how they perform there!

* * *

 **Q: I notice that some of the eligible stories on the list are not marked *complete* on ffnet. How come they are in anyway?**

A: Some authors have reported trouble: ffnet wouldn't let them mark their story or stories as complete. Rest assured that the stories on the list that are not marked as *complete* on ffnet have been double checked with the authors, and are indeed supposed to be complete!

* * *

 **Q: It says the story _Let's Play Fill in the Blanks_ only got completed on January 1** **st** **2016! How come it got into the PBA this year?**

A: A matter of leniency in this case. The author had been trying his utmost to get the story completed before the new year started, but just missed the deadline of ffnet's turn of the year.  
Similarly, since ffnet's date change follows the world clock, some stories may show as being completed on January 1st, when the author in his/her own timezone uploaded it well before midnight.

* * *

 **Q: What happened to the slash category?**

A: The number of slash stories is so small this year, that the PBA committee has decided to let them all go straight to the voting round. So there will be no nominating slash stories this year, but they will participate in the voting round.

* * *

 **Q: This story is listed as comedy, general, challenge and episode. That's great! Can I nominate this same story in all four of those categories?**

A: No, you can't. You may nominate one and the same story in only 1 story category. So if you nominate story A in the challenge category, you cannot nominate that same story in episode, general and comedy as well. You need to pick one!  
The only category where you may nominate the same story for a second time is the category *best story of 2015*. See below for explanation.

* * *

 **Q: If I nominate my favourite story in (for example) the comedy section, can I still nominate characters, quotes and teasers from that story?**

A: Yes, you can. The restriction of one nomination per story applies only to the story categories (e.g. drama, comedy, general, snapshot, challenge, episode, unique, poetry and crossover). If you like, you could even nominate the teaser and all your quotes and characters from one single story. However, with so many stories to choose from... :-)

* * *

 **Q: I have a story participating in the PBA this year. Is it okay for me to participate in the nominating and voting?**

A: Yes, you are very welcome to participate in the nominating and voting. In fact, most people participating have eligible stories out there. Just make sure you don't nominate your own work!

* * *

 **Q: How do I nominate my favourite story?**

A: You check the PBA homepage (see address above) to see which stories are eligible this year. Once you've made your decision about what you want to nominate in which category, you can send an email listing your nominations to papabearawards at yahoo dot com. If you want to be sure you include all the necessary information, you can use the template (see next chapter).

* * *

 **Q: I was one of the authors of _The Nimrod Caper_ , but I didn't write it all on my own. Does that mean I can nominate it?**

A: No, you can't. If you were part of the writing team of that story, you will have to wait and see if any of its readers think it worthy of nomination. You cannot nominate something you actively contributed to yourself.

* * *

 **Q: Do I have to read all the stories before I decide on my nominations?**

A: No, you don't. Of course it's laudable to try and read all the stories before making your choice, but with the numbers we tend to have in the PBA these past years, it's hardly realistic. In the nomination round, it's perfectly okay to choose your nominations from among the stories you have read – whether they are 10 or 100.

* * *

 **Q: Do I have to nominate in every category?**

A: No, you don't. Feel free to skip the categories you're not interested in.

* * *

 **Q: I'm not interested in crossovers – they tend to be about TV shows I have never seen. Do I have to nominate in that category?**

A: No, you don't have to nominate in every category. You are free to limit yourself to the categories you're interested in.

* * *

 **Q: How many nominations are needed to go to the voting round?**

A: One nomination is sufficient for a story, character, teaser or quote to go to the voting round. The only exception to this rule is the category *best story of 2015* - see below.

* * *

 **Q: How does the nomination for *best story of 2015* work?**

A: You can nominate 1 story in our most prestigious category: the *best story of 2015*. This can be a story you nominated in another story category as well – mind you, this is the only category where you are allowed to do that!  
However, this is also the only category where your nomination does not automatically let the story go to the voting round. That depends on the overall number of nominations the story receives.  
In short, to go to the voting round in the category *best story of 2015*, a story must:  
\- receive at least 1 nomination in the category *best story of 2015*.  
\- _and_ it must receive nominations from other people in the story and/or character categories.  
Only the stories that have been nominated by the most people will go on to the voting round for *best story of 2015* - we are aiming at approximately 7 to 10 stories in this category in the voting round.  
I know it sounds complicated. Rest assured that the complication is limited to our tabulating the nominations. All _you_ need to do is to nominate your absolute favourite story!

* * *

 **Q: I don't know whether character A was originally a guest character, or whether the author just made him up. Where do I nominate him?**

A: To be on the safe side, you can ask the author, alternatively the PBA staff.

* * *

 **Q: Can I nominate quotes from my own stories, like we did a few years ago?**

A: No, you can't. That option has been dropped this year. No nominations of your own work are allowed in any category.

* * *

 **Q: Where do I find good quotes without rereading every story?**

A: An option is to browse through the reviews. Many reviewers mention a particularly good quote from a chapter in their review.

* * *

 **Q: I'm an author, and I've been contacted that my story has been nominated in three different story categories. And now I have to reject one of them. Why can't my story compete in all three?**

A: In order to prevent having one (or a few) stories dominating the entire PBA like we've had in the past, we now have a rule that a story can only go to the voting round in 2 story categories. (Not counting the *best story of 2015*, so if your story got to the voting round there, too, you might still be competing in three categories!)  
New this year is that the categories for drama, comedy and general stories are going to be exclusive. No matter if a story got nominated in all three, a story can only compete in *either* drama, *or* comedy, *or* general story. And if they got nominated in for example both comedy and drama, then the author will have to choose, even if that means the story will only go to the voting round in one story category.  
Combinations of for example drama with challenge, or comedy with unique, or even challenge with unique are certainly permitted. But not drama plus comedy, or comedy plus general, or general plus drama.

* * *

 **Q: I'm missing a few stories that have been completed this year. Why aren't they eligible?**

A: Three possible reasons.  
1) The story has been newly edited and reposted, but has already participated in a previous edition of the PBA.  
2) The author has decided to withdraw this particular story from participation in the PBA.  
3) If the story has only been published outside ffnet, we may simply have missed it. If that is the case, please let us know ASAP!

* * *

 **Q: I don't have an ffnet account, but I enjoy reading Hogan's Heroes fanfiction. Can I participate in the nominating and voting of the PBA?**

A: Yes, you can.

* * *

 **Q: How do I vote?**

A: Once it is time to vote, you will find the instructions here on the site, and on the PBA homepage. For now however, we're just nominating!

* * *

 **Q: Where do I send my votes?**

A: You can send them by email to papabearawards at yahoo dot com, alternatively by ffnet PM to Papa Bear Awards. You will always receive a confirmation once your votes have been registered. This could take a few days though, so don't worry if you don't get an instant confirmation.

* * *

 **Q: Do I have to vote in every category?**

A: No, you don't have to vote in every category. If you are pressed for time, or if some categories simply don't interest you, it's perfectly okay to limit yourself to voting in only a few categories. Or even only one.

* * *

 **Q: My favourite story has been nominated in two categories. Can I vote for that story in both categories?**

A: Yes, you can.

* * *

 **Q: My own story/character/teaser/quote has been nominated. Am I allowed to vote for it now?**

A: Yes, you can vote for your own work, if you are indeed convinced that your work is the best in that category. But be honest about it!

* * *

 **Q: Do I have to read everything before casting my vote?**

A: In order to make a fair and well–considered decision, it is certainly advisable to have read everything in a category before deciding on your vote in that category.

* * *

 **Q: Why can't slash stories and crossovers qualify for "best story of 2015"?**

A: The "best overall story" should be accessible and comprehensible for everyone who enjoys Hogan's Heroes – period. We know (and their authors know) by experience that these two genres have a limited audience.  
Slash stories have the disadvantage that many HH readers (at least according to the posts on the forum and the reviews for slash stories) are not happy with this type of alteration of the canon characters, and they simply refuse to read this type of story.  
And to understand a crossover, you have to be acquainted with another TV-show, movie, book etc. in order to even begin to comprehend the story.  
Therefore, we do not consider stories from these genres suitable to perhaps end up being "the best Hogan's Heroes story that every HHfan should read", no matter how good they are.  
As a side note: in none of the past editions of the PBA have stories from these categories made it to the "best overall" category – not even when it was done by direct nomination.

* * *

 **Q: I would like to help with the PBA organization. Is there anything I can do?**

A: We could still use a back-up for the tabulating of the votes and nominations, as well as an extra person sending out the congratulatory notes to the authors. If you're interested, just drop us a line!

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to contact us.

.

 _Enjoy your reading!_


	7. Chapter 7

How to nominate:

Copy and paste this form into an email or a Word document, complete it, and mail it to:

papabearawards at yahoo dot com

no later than _**Friday, February 19th, 2016.**_

 **.**

 **Name:**

 **ffnet/ao3 pen name:**

 **Email address:**

.

 **MY NOMINATIONS FOR THE PAPA BEAR AWARDS:**

 **Best story of 2015:**

Title:

Author:

 **Best snapshot:**

Title:

Author:

 **Best short drama:**

Title:

Author:

 **Best short comedy:**

Title:

Author:

 **Best short general story:**

Title:

Author:

 **Best long drama:**

Title:

Author:

 **Best long comedy:**

Title:

Author:

 **Best long general story:**

Title:

Author:

 **Best story based on a challenge:**

Title:

Author:

 **Best story based on a TV episode:**

Title:

Author:

 **Most unique story:**

Title:

Author:

 **Best poem, filk or songfic:**

Title:

Author:

 **Best crossover story:**

Title:

Author:

 **Best portrayal of a canon character:**

Character:

Story:

Author:

 **Best portrayal of a canon extra:**

Character:

Story:

Author:

 **Best portrayal of an original character:**

Character:

Story:

Author:

 **Best portrayal of a visiting crossover character:**

Character:

Story:

Author:

 **Best teaser:**

Teaser:

Story:

Author:

 **Best quote:**

(Remember: max statement - reply - reaction in dialogue; or max 3 lines (from capital to period) descriptive text; and it has to make sense even outside of its context!)

Quote:

Said by:

Story:

Author:

.

Quote:

Said by:

Story:

Author:

.

Quote:

Said by:

Story:

Author:

* * *

 **Closing date for nominations:**

 **February 19th, 2016**


	8. Chapter 8

_Hamelburg, ?/?/?_

 _Dear Mom,_

 _As you can see, the boredom has even made me forget the date. But it doesn't matter. I'm always happy to hear from you. And what a great idea to have the children write stories about us! We look forward to reading them all. Perhaps, as you say, it will help the men battle boredom. For really, especially with all the rain showers we've had lately, it's getting more and more difficult to keep the guys from fighting. They just need to do something, so I hope Mrs Simmons' story writing contest will help calm down things a bit here._

 _Please give her my regards - I remember she was always organizing things. Nice to see she hasn't lost her touch!_

 _Love,_

 _Rob_


	9. Chapter 9

Back in Bridgeport, Mrs Simmons was getting a little anxious. "Mrs Hogan, did you hear back from Rob and his men yet?"

Mrs Hogan shook her head. "Just that short message I showed you. Their nominations haven't made it back here yet." She sighed. Who knows - were they still alive? Were those evil Nazis doing all kinds of nasty experiments on her boy? She knew him - he had a knack for getting into trouble. And getting out of it, that was true. But against a whole country...?

Mrs Simmons sighed. "The children are doing quite fine. They've been reading each other's stories, and their main topic of conversation is the decision of which stories to nominate." She chuckled. "It's almost as if they are deciding on the winners among themselves, just in their discussions. But it would make things so much more real to them if Rob and the other prisoners would actively join in. Do you think... How do you think the chances are for their nominations to arrive by the end of the week?"

Unfortunately, Mrs Hogan couldn't answer that. "It all depends on the censors. Their letters - and ours, too - have to go through three or four rounds of censoring. Rob tells me many of my letters arrive full of holes, no matter how innocent my news for him is. It's a miracle they allow any mail to pass through at all."

"Of course." Mrs Simmons sighed. "But it's badly bogging down our Papa Bear Awards project." She frowned. "I don't suppose it would go any better to send a telegram, would it?"

"Not likely, no." She sighed. A telegram would only draw the Nazis' attention to Rob. That was the last thing she needed.

"Well, then we'll just have to promote it a bit more. Then hopefully, this last week will bring in a flood of nominations!" Mrs Simmons tilted her head and looked at the older lady. "Mrs Hogan, I've been thinking about this before, but... would you perhaps be willing to come to class this week, and tell the children about Rob and his fight? And the prison camp?"

* * *

 ** _Note: Yes, my friends - it's the final week to send in your nominations for the PBA! Don't forget - the deadline is Friday, February 19th at 23.59.59 Hawaii time!_ **

**_And my heartfelt thanks to Snooky, who has been taking care of pretty much all the current affairs since the nomination round opened. Real life is a killer this year, leaving way too little time and energy to actively deal with the PBA... I can't wait till the holiday next week and finally get a good look at everything that's been sent in!_**


	10. Chapter 10

"Colonel," Carter began. "Isn't it... I mean, shouldn't we be transmitting our results yet?"

Hogan frowned. "Results? You mean from the reconnaissance mission the other day? Kinch already did that."

"No." Carter shook his head. "From the Papa Bear Awards. Remember your mother?"

An uneasy hush fell over barracks 2.

"Oops..." LeBeau breathed.

"Well, we better get cracking then, can't we." Newkirk spoke up. "Can't disappoint the Governor's mother now, can we?"

"Or those kids back in Bridgeport," Kinch agreed. "Colonel, what do we do?"

Carter's eyes widened in disbelief. "What do we do?! Well, send in our nominations of course! What do you think we should do?"

"He's got a point." Newkirk grinned, before pulling Carter's cap over his eyes. "Well, let's get started then. Guv, where did you put all those stories your Mum sent you?"

"Um..." Hogan looked around, a slight blush creeping to his cheeks.

And LeBeau shook his head. "Don't tell me - you forgot."

.

* * *

 ** _Note: for practical reasons, the deadline for sending in your PBA nominations has been moved 24 hours, to Saturday, February 20th at 23.59.59 Hawaii time. Basically, as long as it's Saturday *somewhere* on this planet, you can still send in your nominations._ **

**_Keep'em coming!_**


	11. Chapter 11

"Kinch! Hurry up! We only have a few hours left to send in our nominations!"

Kinch sighed. "I know, I know. Calm down. We have until midnight Hawaii time, they said. That's still some 13 hours away. I'll get around to transmitting everybody's nominations by then."

* * *

 _ **Note: If you haven't gotten your nominations in yet, but you do want to participate, be quick about it now then! Tonight at midnight Hawaii time is the deadline!**_


	12. Chapter 12

It was late on Wednesday afternoon when a hesitant Mrs Simmons went to call on Mrs Hogan. She hated to do this, but she knew it was necessary. And she could only hope that the lady would be able to take the news well...

A good breath, and moment later the doorbell rang. And within seconds, Mrs Hogan appeared in the doorway.

"Ah, Mrs Simmons! Any news yet on the Papa Bear Awards? Did you hear from Rob and his men?"

Mrs Simmons swallowed. "Yes. Yes, I did. They got their nominations in just in time - thanks to our postponing the deadline a little. But..."

Mrs Hogan stiffened. "But what?" she demanded.

"Well..." Another gulp. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but..." A deep breath. "Rob didn't make it..."

"Didn't make what?" Mrs Hogan frowned. Surely she couldn't mean... How would _she_ know? "You mean he didn't make it in time to get his nominations in?"

"Oh, _that,_ he did." Mrs Simmons placed a comforting hand on the lady's arm. "I mean, he didn't make it to the voting round."

"What do you mean?"

"Here. Look for yourself." And she handed her the sheets of papers on which all the nominations in the different categories had been collected.

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

 **BEST SNAPSHOT**

.

 **Air**  
by drakkynfyre47

 **Cave-In**  
by MentalAnarchy

 **On Top of the World**  
by Belphegor

 **Something Worth Knowing**  
by Zeragii

 **Standoff**  
by Belphegor

 **The Debut**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

 **The Manner of Giving**  
by MentalAnarchy

 **Useless**  
by Belphegor

 **What is This?**  
by Danzinora Switch

* * *

.

Still not quite understanding what the teacher was getting at, Mrs Hogan leafed through them. "What am I looking for?" she asked. _  
_

"The portrayal of canon characters," was the reply.

Mrs Hogan gave her a puzzled look, and then started to seriously look through the papers in her hand.


	13. Chapter 13

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

 **BEST SHORT DRAMA**

.

 **Beyond the Descent**  
by FloatingPizza

 **Cover Stories: Wounded**  
by willwrite4fics

 **Divided Loyalties**  
by Crystal Rose of Pollux

 **Epiphany**  
by Snooky-9093

 **Letting Go**  
by Bits and Pieces

 **Revelation**  
by whirlyite

 **Silence**  
by Zeragii

 **So Sioux Me**  
by Atarah Derek

 **Turn Your Face to the Sun**  
by Gaerwn

 **Until Morning's Light**  
by Zeragii

 **Wax Wings**  
by Crystal Rose of Pollux

 **We Will Not Relent**  
by whirlyite

* * *

.

 _Turn over to find out about the short comedies!_


	14. Chapter 14

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

 **BEST SHORT COMEDY**

.

 **Carter's Experiment**  
by ghostgirl19

 **Divertissement**  
by dust on the wind

 **Hogan's Detective Agency**  
by Bits and Pieces

 **Holy Fire**  
by Dinogeek

 **The Elevator**  
by Fortune Maiden

 **The Martian**  
by Book'em Again

 **The Russians Are Coming, Wait, They Got Captured**  
by willwrite4fics

 **Triskaidekaphobia**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

* * *

.

 _Turn over to find out about the short general stories!_


	15. Chapter 15

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

 **BEST SHORT GENERAL STORY**

.

 **Advice is Like Snow**  
by holograms

 **I'm Not Worried**  
by ghostgirl19

 **Light in the Night**  
by Goldleaf83

 **Luck and Pluck**  
by Goldleaf83

 **Mea Culpa**  
by Snooky-9093

 **On Christmas Morning**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

 **That's No Spy, That's My Back Pocket**  
by Atarah Derek

 **The Final Mission**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

 **When Duty Calls**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

* * *

.

 _Turn over to find out about the long drama stories!_


	16. Chapter 16

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

 **BEST LONG DRAMA STORY**

.

 **Catalysts**  
by dust on the wind

 **How the Cats Play**  
by willwrite4fics

 **Let Words Guide You Home**  
by Laternenlicht

 **Let's Play Fill in the Blanks**  
by Thaddeus MacChuzzlewit

 **One Man Down**  
by Bits and Pieces

 **To Make a Long Story Short**  
by Gunney

* * *

.

 _Turn over to find out about the long comedy stories!_


	17. Chapter 17

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

 **BEST LONG COMEDY STORY**

.

 **Camp Tales**  
by willwrite4fics

 **Get in Your Bunk!**  
by willwrite4fics

 **The Nimrod Caper**  
by Book'em Again, Floating Pizza, Me and Sgt. Moffitt

 **There Goes the Neighborhood**  
by SamRosinenbomber

 **Year of the Monkey**  
by Book'em Again

* * *

.

 _Turn over to find out about the long general stories!_


	18. Chapter 18

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

 **BEST LONG GENERAL STORY**

.

 **Daily Life in Stalag 13**  
by Goldleaf83

 **Kätzchen**  
by LittleMissSpitfire

 **The Caper**  
by Gunney

 **The Mission Briefing: Operation Declassified!**  
by Papa Bear Awards

 **What's in a Name**  
by Snooky-9093

* * *

.

 _Turn over to find out about the stories based on a challenge!_


	19. Chapter 19

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

 **BEST STORY BASED ON A CHALLENGE**

.

 **Divertissement**  
by dust on the wind

 **Epiphany**  
by Snooky-9093

 **Hogan's Detective Agency**  
by Bits and Pieces

 **Light in the Night**  
by Goldleaf83

 **Luck and Pluck**  
by Goldleaf83

 **Ocean Deep**  
by Hildegaarde

 **The Elevator**  
by Fortune Maiden

 **The Final Mission**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

 **The Martian**  
by Book'em Again

 **The Russians Are Coming, Wait, They Got Captured**  
by willwrite4fics

 **The Steps We Must Take**  
by Geometrid

 **Toys for Boys**  
by Goldleaf83

 **Waiting for Papa Bear**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

* * *

.

 _Turn over to find out about the stories based on an episode!_


	20. Chapter 20

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

 **BEST STORY BASED ON A TV EPISODE**

.

 **Hero Number Six**  
by konarciq

 **Is There a Traitor in the House?**  
by Pippi1.0

 **Mercy for an Enemy**  
by Deliverer

 **So Sioux Me**  
by Atarah Derek

 **The Major and the Code**  
by konarciq

 **The Steps We Must Take**  
by Geometrid

 **Waiting for Papa Bear**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

 **When Duty Calls**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

* * *

.

 _Turn over to find out about the most unique stories!_


	21. Chapter 21

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

 **MOST UNIQUE STORIES**

.

 **All the Colonel's Men**  
by EJ3

 **Everyone's a Critic: The Sequel**  
by Snooky-9093

 **Hero Number Six**  
by konarciq

 **Kätzchen**  
by LittleMissSpitfire

 **Let Words Guide You Home**  
by Laternenlicht

 **The Debut**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

 **The Nimrod Caper**  
by Book'em Again, Floating Pizza, Me and Sgt. Moffitt

 **The Shadow of War**  
by mmwaveprincess

 **There Goes the Neighborhood**  
by SamRosinenbomber

 **Thomas and the Really Useful Corporal**  
by booey875

 **What is This?**  
by Danzinora Switch

 **What's in a Name**  
by Snooky-9093

* * *

.

 _Turn over to find out about the poems and filks!_


	22. Chapter 22

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

 **BEST POEMS AND FILKS**

.

 **Close Your Ears, Close Your Eyes and Know Nothing**  
by konarciq

 **Just Trust Me**  
by konarciq

 **Le Lapin Bleu**  
by Tiny1217

 **Morning is Broken**  
by Bits and Pieces

 **The Major and the Code**  
by konarciq

* * *

.

 _Turn over to find out about the crossovers!_


	23. Chapter 23

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

 **BEST CROSSOVER STORIES**

.

 **Coming Together**  
by Me

 **Conned You Tell?**  
by Alverrann

 **The Cost of War**  
by Cyllwen

 **The McHale Operation**  
by Sgt. Hakeswill

 **The Wrath of Klink**  
by Bits and Pieces

 **Thomas and the Really Useful Corporal**  
by booey875

* * *

.

 _Turn over to find out about the slash stories!_


	24. Chapter 24

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

 **BEST SLASH STORIES**

 _Now that the nomination round is over,  
the small category of the slash stories will join in the game, too._

.

 **Depravity**  
by Bits and Pieces

 **Diary of Lily Frankel**  
by booey875

 **In the Last Days II: Time Falling**  
BradyGirl_12

 **Night Moves**  
by Bits and Pieces

* * *

.

 _Turn over to find out about the portrayal of canon characters!_


	25. Chapter 25

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

 **BEST PORTRAYAL OF CANON CHARACTERS**

.

 **Burkhalter**  
in  
 _How the Cats Play_  
by willwrite4fics

 **Carter**  
in  
 _Camp Tales_  
by willwrite4fics

 **Carter**  
in  
 _So Sioux Me_  
by Atarah Derek

 **Carter**  
in  
 _Wax Wings_  
by Crystal Rose of Pollux

 **Klink**  
in

 _Beyond the Descent_  
by Floating Pizza

 **LeBeau**  
in  
 _Daily Life in Stalag 13_  
by Goldleaf83

 **LeBeau**  
in  
 _On Christmas Morning_  
by Sgt. Moffitt

 **Newkirk**  
in  
 _Brothers in Arms_  
by Gaerwn

 **Newkirk**  
in  
 _Camp Tales_  
by willwrite4fics

 **Newkirk**  
in  
 _Let's Play Fill in the Blanks_  
by Thaddeus MacChuzzlewit

 **Newkirk**  
in  
 _Waiting for Papa Bear_  
by Sgt. Moffitt

 **Schultz**  
in  
 _Beneath the First Impressions_  
by willwrite4fics

 **Schultz**  
in  
 _On Christmas Morning_  
by Sgt. Moffitt

* * *

.

 _Turn over to find out about the portrayal of canon extras!_


	26. Chapter 26

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

 **BEST PORTRAYAL OF CANON EXTRAS**

.

 **Barnes**  
in  
 _Triskaidekaphobia_  
by Sgt. Moffitt

 **Dr. Suzanne Lechay**  
in  
 _Catalysts_  
by dust on the wind

 **Garlotti**  
in  
 _Daily Life in Stalag 13_  
by Goldleaf83

 **Hilda**  
in  
 _When Duty Calls_  
by Sgt. Moffitt

 **Marya**  
in  
 _Divided Loyalties_  
by Crystal Rose of Pollux

 **Marya**  
in  
 _Just Trust Me_  
by konarciq

 **Nimrod**  
in  
 _The Nimrod Caper_  
by Book'em Again, Floating Pizza, Me and Sgt. Moffitt

 **Olsen**  
in  
 _Hero Number Six_  
by konarciq

 **Olsen**  
in  
 _The Man Who Came to Dinner_  
by sparra-music

 **Wilson**  
in  
 _One Man Down_  
by Bits and Pieces

* * *

.

 _Turn over to find out about the portrayal of original characters!_


	27. Chapter 27

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

 **BEST PORTRAYAL OF ORIGINAL CHARACTERS**

.

 **Angel / Rose Carven**  
in  
 _And They Called Her Angel_  
by WenonaWolf

 **Ann Hogan**  
in  
 _Light in the Night_  
by Goldleaf83

 **Arthur Kong**  
in  
 _Year of the Monkey_  
by Book'em Again

 **Berta**  
in  
 _Let's Play Fill in the Blanks_  
by Thaddeus MacChuzzlewit

 **Chapman**  
in  
 _Daily Life in Stalag 13_  
by Goldleaf83

 **Doyle**  
in  
 _Divertissement_  
by dust on the wind

 **John Hogan**  
in  
 _Light in the Night_  
by Goldleaf83

 **Landry**  
in  
 _Daily Life in Stalag 13_  
by Goldleaf83

 **Lizzy**  
in  
 _There Goes the Neighborhood_  
by SamRosinenbomber

 **Maddock**  
in  
 _What's in a Name_  
by Snooky-9093

 **Major Walther**  
in  
 _Catalysts_  
by dust on the wind

 **Waverley**  
in  
 _Mea Culpa_  
by Snooky-9093

* * *

.

 _Turn over to find out about the portrayal of the visiting crossover characters!_


	28. Chapter 28

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

 **BEST PORTRAYAL OF VISITING CROSSOVER CHARACTERS**

.

 **Howard Cunningham**  
in  
 _Coming Together_  
by Me

 **Face**  
in  
 _Conned You Tell?_  
by Alverrann

 **Quinton McHale**  
in  
 _The McHale Operation_  
by Sgt. Hakeswill

 **Thomas the Tank Engine**  
in  
 _Thomas and the Really Useful Corporal_  
by booey875

* * *

Mrs Hogan shook her head. "I can't believe it..." she breathed. "Every fool and his wife got nominated, and my Rob was not considered worthy of a nomination of himself?! Even a _train_ got nominated, but Rob, my resourceful boy with a million ideas and who always looks out for everyone - _he_ was overlooked?!" She shook her head. "He's not going to like this," she added. "He's not going to like this one bit..."

"I know," Mrs Simmons sighed. "I just hope this won't be the end of the Papa Bear Awards as we know them..."

* * *

.

 _Still turn over to find out about the portrayal of the most tickling teasers!_


	29. Chapter 29

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

 **MOST TICKLING TEASERS**

.

 **Ah, Huntingburg.  
The peaceful suburb just outside of Cleveland, a perfect place to settle down after the war...  
Wait, did I say peaceful? Never mind.**  
 _Story: There Goes the Neighborhood  
Author: SamRosinenbomber_

.

 **Getting stuck in an elevator is one thing.  
Getting stuck in an elevator with your worst enemy is another.  
Getting stuck in an elevator with your worst enemy and Klink is… well, let the nightmare begin.  
** _Story: The Elevator  
Author: Fortune Maiden_

.

 **In chemistry, the best results are obtained when the right elements are brought together.  
In war, the same principle applies...**  
 _Story: Catalysts  
Author: dust on the wind_

.

 **Just because you dress like a Nazi, speak like a Nazi, feel like a Nazi and hang out with Nazis,  
doesn't mean you must be one.  
You might just be a missing, amnesiac POW in disguise.**  
 _Story: Let's Play Fill in the Blanks  
Author: Thaddeus MacChuzzlewit_

.

 **We know he's not a traitor, and the gang knows he's not a traitor, and London Intelligence knows he's not a traitor…  
but what about everybody else?**  
 _Story: Is There a Traitor in the House?  
Author: Pippi1.0_

.

 **When LeBeau runs out of ingredients, he makes a pot of not-so-good chili.  
Little does he know that it will affect his fellow POWs in more ways than one.**  
 _Story: A Meal Gone Wrong  
Author: Kamkats_

* * *

.

 _Turn over to find out about the portrayal of the most tickling teasers!_


	30. Chapter 30

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

 **BEST QUOTES**

 _And here you may vote for as many as you want!_

 _Note: the numbers listed are purely to make it easier for you. They have no value at all._

 _If you want to know where the quotes come from, you'll have to visit the PBA website!_

.

1

"A Martian!

I knew the Nazis were monsters,

but I never thought they'd go out of this world to wage their war!"

.

2

And so, for one evening, in that small, out of the way prison camp,

there were no Nazis vs Allies, Germans vs Americans, bad guys vs good.

Just a group of men seeking to honor the birth of their Savior.

.

3

"Bad luck is a bit of an understatement! I was stuck in there for hours. With Hochstetter. And Klink!"

"Mon Colonel, you deserve a medal."

"I deserve hazard pay."

.

4

But unfortunately for him, the earlier incident involving keys, windows and a mounted deer head

resulted in his gun being out of bullets. All bullets.

.

5

"Don't let them take me, Guv! Tell them I escaped! Tell them I'm deathly ill! Tell them I got shot!

Tell them I got shot while escaping while I was deathly ill!"

.

6

"Do you know what the word 'Aryan' means, Otto?"

"Arrogante, raciste, Nazi insanité."

"What?!"

Apparently his inner voice was rude.

.

7

"Gentlemen, the rules of music – indeed, the laws of physics – dictate

that in any given musical key there can only be a finite number of dissonant notes.

Could you possibly try not to hit every single one?"

.

8

"He's going to teach me to play the violin."

The two men at the door simultaneously recoiled in horror.

"I see you two have obviously not gotten over the blatant jealousy you have towards my talent."

.

9

He whimpered and vowed he would never pull a prank on Newkirk again. Ever.

Especially if he blew up and ended Carter's lifetime record of staying not dead.

.

10

"Hi Colonel! Sorry I'm late; I was detained at the escape committee meeting.

Y'know, tonight was a record for escape requests!

We had over a hundred; and that included eighty from the guards."

.

11

"Hogan, I just heard one soldier say you had run this camp all along. What did he mean?"

"You really want to know?"

"Maybe someday."

.

12

"How about a typewriter?"

"Um, that is one thing we're missing. Maybe we should requisition one.

Except that we will need to type the requisition form to requisition the typewriter we need to type the forms."

.

13

"If anyone wakes old Burkhalter from his beauty sleep, he's liable to turn ugly."

"Boy, he must get woken up a lot."

.

14

"I'm just gonna say, if this stuff kills me,

I shall be very cross with the lot of you!"

.

15

"I'm surprised at you, Doyle. That's not the kind of thing I expect from you, of all people.

Your second tenors sang flat all the way through."

.

16

It occurred to Klink that the American had seen Germany from the air far more recently than he had,

and he wondered how the landscape had changed,

if the cities had sprawled further over the green fields,

if the hills still bloomed a thousand colors in the autumn,

and if the sunlight still glinted off of the rivers fierce and beautiful enough to blind you...

.

17

"Louis, just so you know, this 'urts me more than it 'urts you."

With that, Newkirk flashed the blood-stained rag in front of LeBeau's face,

and on cue, LeBeau gasped and fell unconscious.

Newkirk grinned at Wilson. "There you are, Sergeant. Instant anesthesia."

.

18

"Sir. Permission to punch you in the nose."

"Request denied."

.

19

Sergeant Kinchloe glared at the graffiti on the barracks door with such intensity

that if it had been able to remove itself, it doubtless would have.

.

20

"Some days, I feel like I'm surrounded by white."

.

21

"Some days I think I know what's going on in this camp,

and then somehow one of you manages to make me realize I don't know the half of it."

.

22

There, above the door, was a sign with big letters:

Harry's Morgue – You Stab 'em, We Slab 'em.

.

23

"Well, that's new, I've never seen Hochstetter kowtow to Klink before…"

"Humph, we're flying through space in a giant starship, and that's what's confusing him?"

.

24

Whatever had happened must have been important.

Because the only time someone won a card game with Newkirk,

was if Newkirk wanted you to.

.

25

"When I first came to Stalag 13, they were like a couple of wild animals, Newkirk and LeBeau.

All energy and no reason.

I'm still surprised Newkirk didn't bite me the first time I tried to touch him."

.

26

Wordlessly, the two of us head back to camp, cautiously listening for more patrols as we go.

In the back of my mind, though, the wild geese still call, flying with the moon on their wings,

and I wonder how many soldiers alive today they'll be saying "amen" for when they return next spring.

.

27

"You deserve to have your head examined."

"Wilson already did that. Didn't find a thing."

.

28

"You must be feeling peckish after your ordeal. I will make you tea with scones, jam, and clotted cream."

"You'll cook British food for her, but not for your old chum!"

"She's prettier than you."

.

29

"You're a goner, Newkirk!

You've got one foot in the grave, you'll be pushing up daisies,

you're gonna buy the farm, you're gonna kick the bucket!

Don't you understand what I'm saying?

You're dead, Newkirk, dead, dead, dead!"

.

30

"You're the most interesting man I've ever met."

"Well, I'm the most interesting man I've ever met, too."

.

* * *

 _._

 _And now – finally – on to the most prestigious category of all: the best story of 2015...  
_ _Oddly enough, the nominators seemed almost to agree on which stories to nominate here.  
And with the number we got, we didn't have to leave out any of the nominated stories here.  
They all went on to the voting round! _

_Go check them out!_


	31. Chapter 31

.

 **The Nominated Works**

* * *

.

And the best for last:  
the stories that were nominated to compete for the ultimate honour of

 **THE VERY BEST STORY OF 2015!**

.

 **Daily Life in Stalag 13**  
by Goldleaf83

.

 **Divertissement**  
by dust on the wind

.

 **Divided Loyalties**  
by Crystal Rose of Pollux

.

 **How the Cats Play**  
by willwrite4fics

.

 **Let's Play Fill in the Blanks**  
by Thaddeus MacChuzzlewit

.

 **Revelation**  
by whirlyite

.

 **There Goes the Neighborhood**  
by SamRosinenbomber

.

 **Until Morning's Light**  
by Zeragii

.

 **What's in a Name**  
by Snooky-9093

* * *

.

 _Read on to learn about this year's voting - with 3 votes in each category!_

.

But first a solid round of applause for Snooky,  
who did a great job on the double checking!

 **Thank you for a terrific job, Snooky!**

.

And also a round of applause already for the members of the PBA committee:  
 **Book'em Again, Sgt. Moffitt and Snooky-9093.**  
It's been fairly quiet on the PBA front so far,  
but the job isn't finished yet...


	32. Chapter 32

.

And then it's time for voting!

.

Remember, you have **3 votes** in every category!

* * *

 _How does it work to have 3 votes in each category?  
An example with non-existent stories:_

 _._

 _Nominated:_

 _Hogan's Dog_

 _Carter's Rabbit_

 _Klink's Mouse_

 _Schultz's Cow_

 _Newkirk's Monkey_

 _Kinch's Gopher_

 _LeBeau's Cat_

 _._

 _Voter A just loves all these stories, but having to choose three, he gives 1 vote to Carter's Rabbit, 1 vote to Kinch's Gopher, and 1 vote to Klink's Mouse._

 _Voter B is very particular that Hogan's Dog is the best story. So he decides to give Hogan's Dog his vote, and doesn't use his other 2 votes._

 _Voter C thinks Newkirk's Monkey and Schultz's Cow are by far the best - the rest are definitely of less quality. So he gives 1 vote to Newkirk's Monkey, and 1 vote to Schultz's Cow, and doesn't use his last vote._

* * *

And in the quote category, you may vote for as many as you want – no limits!  
In case that makes things complicated when listing them:  
as you might have noticed, the quotes have been given a number.  
That should make it easier to list your favourites.

* * *

Also available on the PBA website are direct links to all the nominated works.  
That should save you some searching on ffnet and elsewhere.

Address of the PBA website:  
 **www dot konarciq dot net / fanfiction / PapaBearAwards / index. html**  
(take out the spaces and translate to internet speak)

* * *

And the good news:  
in this round you are allowed to vote for your own work -  
provided you _really_ think it is the best...!

.

Your votes can be sent by email to **papabearawards at yahoo dot com**  
or to Papa Bear Awards by ffnet PM.  
Make sure you include your name and ffnet ID or AO3 ID (if you have one)!

Also available: a comprehensive PBA survey!  
See next chapter for instructions.

.

 **Closing date: Friday, March 25th (Good Friday)  
at 23.59:59 Hawaii Time!**  
.

The voting is open for everyone who enjoys Hogan's Heroes fanfiction.

.

Every voter will receive a confirmation of the registration of his/her votes within about a week.

And remember: you're only allowed 1 set of votes!  
If you've voted in the survey, don't send in your votes by email or PM as well – and vice versa!

.

Winners in all categories will be announced after the votes are tabulated.  
A Gold, Silver and Bronze award will be awarded for each category – if applicable.

.

So read, enjoy and **vote**!

* * *

Remember:

 **Closing date is Friday, March 25th, 2016  
(Good Friday)**


	33. Chapter 33

.

Also available: a comprehensive PBA survey!

Web address:

 **surveyplanet dot com / 56cc59c74209964614daf1ec  
** (take out the spaces and translate to internet speak)  
(or go to the PBA website or Forum XIIIc for a direct and working link :-)

* * *

So how does it work?

The survey starts with some basic identification info. It's the same stuff we ask you to include when you vote via email or PM:  
name, ffnet ID and email address.  
Only the two voting tabulators (konarciq and steffiundaxel) will have access to this information – no one else can see your answers in the survey. It's just as private as sending your votes by email to the papabearawards address.

Then the survey continues with the different categories – one page with a multiple choice question for each category.  
Only the quotes are spread out over several pages – there were too many to fit on one page!  
The survey follows the order of the voting template, to keep it easy for you.

Unfortunately, the website seems to have taken away the possibility of navigating back and forth through the questions – you can only go forward in the survey, not back! Still...  
 **Once you click 'submit' at the end, you can't change your votes anymore!**  
So make sure you've made up your mind about your choices _before_ starting on the survey!

In each category you may cast 3 votes. Or 1, or 2, or none at all, as explained in the previous chapter.

And in the quotes section, you can cast as many votes as you like.  
It is no problem to skip a question in the survey.  
Just click on 'next', and you'll go on to the next category.  
Only the identification questions *must* be answered before you can continue.

The final page asks you if you're really sure you don't want to change anything anymore,  
and if you are, you click on 'submit' – and that's it: you've voted!

* * *

 **Closing date for submitting your votes:**

 _ **March 25th, 2016**_


	34. Chapter 34

_._

 _An easy template for voting.  
If you like, you can simply copy this into an email or a Word document, complete it,  
and send it to __**papabearawards at yahoo dot com**_ _!_  
 _It can also be found on the PBA website – where there is no no-copy script!_

* * *

 **Name:**

 **FFnet ID or AO3 ID:**

 **Email address:**

.

 **MY VOTES FOR THE PAPA BEAR AWARDS:**

 **Best story of 2015:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

 **Best snapshot:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

 **Best short drama:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

 **Best short comedy:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

 **Best short general story:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

 **Best long drama story:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

 **Best long comedy story:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

 **Best long general story:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

 **Best story based on a challenge:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

 **Best story based on a TV episode:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

 **Most unique story:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

 **Best poem, filk or songfic:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

 **Best crossover story:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

 **Best slash story:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

 **Best portrayal of a canon character:**

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

 **Best portrayal of a canon extra:**

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

 **Best portrayal of an original character:**

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

 **Best portrayal of a visiting crossover character:**

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

 **Best teaser:**

Teaser:  
Story:

Teaser:  
Story:

Teaser:  
Story:

 **Best quote:**

 _You may vote for as many as you want – so feel free to add more if necessary! If you want to do it the easy way, you can simply vote with the numbers listed with the quotes in chapter 30, and on the PBA website._ :-)

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

* * *

 **Closing date for sending in your votes:**

 _ **March 25th, 2016**_


	35. Chapter 35

"Sacré chat!" LeBeau breathed. "The gall of those Bridgeport children...! How can they _not_ nominate the Colonel?"

Kinch raised his eyebrows. "There's no need to get all self-righteous about it, LeBeau. Obviously, none of us nominated him either. Sorry, sir," he added to Hogan.

Hogan pushed back his crush cap. "Yes. Well, this is a bit of a not so nice surprise indeed. In all the years we've had the PBAs, I don't think we've ever had the situation before that I was not nominated."

"I remember years when you had loads of nominations," Newkirk said softly.

"Well, _you've_ got nothing to complain about. This time, _you_ got a whole load of nominations," LeBeau huffed.

"Guys, come on." As always, Carter tried to placate the budding argument. "I know it's bad - I mean, not honouring our commanding officer with a single nomination? But it's not as if we can change anything about it now. But next year, you just wait and see! I bet _everyone_ will be nominating the Colonel then - just to make up for this year!"

Newkirk gave him an odd look. "Next year, I hope to be out of this rathole and back home where I belong."

"Of course. We all do. And if that's the case, I'm sure Colonel Hogan will be showered with nominations and medals and everything anyway. But if it _isn't_ , and we still have another round of the Papa Bear Awards next year, then I'm sure everyone will be nominating the Colonel. Won't we?"

"You bet," Kinch said, and the others agreed.

"And besides," Carter rambled on. "Look at the bright side!"

"What's that?" Hogan hugged himself in an attempt to hide his disappointment.

And Carter beamed at him. "Hochstetter didn't get nominated either!"

* * *

 _ **Note 25/2: I am ashamed to admit that two stories of Sgt. Moffitt's were "overlooked" when I copied the tables from the PBA website onto Word documents for the Mission Briefing...**_ **The Debut** _ **is eligible in the snapshot category, and**_ **The Final Mission** _ **in the challenge category - with my apologies to Sgt. Moffitt, and let's hope there weren't any more missing...** _


	36. Chapter 36

"It's not fair," Hogan murmured to himself. He kicked away a small stone, and watched how it skidded towards the fence and beyond. "Burkhalter got nominated. Even that fool Klink got nominated. And not me? What am I - expendable? Or are people just so used to me that they think I don't need any recognition anymore?"

He looked around at the drab camp he'd been living in for so long. A guard was watching him from the nearest watchtower. The two guards at the gate were chatting away, and occasionally chuckling. He was in prison, darn it! Risking his life every day - and not just his own, but that of every man under his command! Risking his life to stop that crazy maniac from taking over the whole world. And people - his friends, his fans - they just took him for granted?!

"If that's the case," he suddenly spoke out loud, "I might as well quit. I'm not doing this for the glory - far be it from me. But a little recognition is well the least I may expect. So let someone else put his life on the line instead. I've had it here!"

He jerked around and started pacing back to the barracks. Only to stop dead in his tracks.

"Um... Colonel?"

* * *

 _ **Note: Remember: about two weeks left till the deadline for sending in your votes!**_


	37. Chapter 37

"Um... Colonel?"

"What!" he snapped.

But Carter was not so easily put off. He merely blinked in surprise. "Kinch just got a message from London. There's..."

"I don't want to hear it," Hogan interrupted him gruffly.

"I think you do, sir. It's about a top secret nuclear weapon factory in Wuppertal. That's quite close to us, Kinch said. Apparently, some escapee from Stalag 16 came across it and reported it back to the High Command. And they want us to blow it up."

"Suuure," Hogan drawled. "We've got nothing better to do than to risk our lives, do we? What's one more nuclear weapon factory?"

Carter nodded gamely. "Anyway, they're sending in an expert to help us with this one. The guy who found the factory." He gulped. "I'm afraid you're not going to like this, sir..."

Hogan raised his eyebrows. "Let me guess. This expert escapee from Stalag 16 is called Colonel Rodney Crittendon?"

Carter's face lit up. "Yeah - how did you know?"

A shrug. "Call it a hunch." But suddenly, a grin began to spread over his face. "Right. If they want Crittendon, they can get Crittendon! Carter, tell Kinch I've gone for a walk. It's about time our operation gets a fresh commander!"

* * *

 _ **Note: Remember: this Friday, at 23:59.59 Hawaii Time (or considering the American daylight saving time has already started, let's say, "As long as it is still Friday**_ **somewhere** _ **on this planet") is the deadline for sending in your PBA votes!  
**_


	38. Chapter 38

"This won't do," Mrs Hogan murmured to herself. "My son has been risking his life flying out over Germany for years, and this is all the recognition he gets now that he's cooped up in his prison camp? It's just not fair! I'll have to make sure that error gets rectified. And I know just how to go about that!"

She put on her coat, her hat, and her gloves, and marched out of the house towards the school around the corner. It was just around lunch time, and all the kids were happily running around on the playground.

"Hello, Mrs Hogan!" one of the girls greeted her. "Have your heard from Colonel Rob?"

Mrs Hogan shook her head. "You know how unreliable the mail service is in war zones. No. I'm here to see Mrs Simmons. Is she in today?"

"Yes, she is." The girl grimaced. "We had an English test from her this morning. I'm afraid I blew it big time..."

Involuntarily, Mrs Hogan smiled. "Well, better luck next time then. I'll go and find Mrs Simmons." And she continued on into the school building, and sought her way to the faculty room.

"Mrs Simmons!" she began as soon as she saw her seated at her desk, looking up from what looked like the English exams the girl outside had been talking about.

"Ah, Mrs Hogan. Any news from your son?"

"No, I'm afraid not. But I have a plan."

"A plan?"

"Yes." Mrs Hogan took off her hat and lowered herself in the nearest chair. "We organized this whole story writing thing so we could honour Rob's contribution to the war, right? At least that was part of the idea."

Mrs Simmons nodded.

"But how do you think he felt when he found out that he hadn't received a single nomination for himself? In an event that was first and foremost organized in honour of him! So I've come up with an idea. I don't want Rob to feel even the least bit slighted. So what if..." She bent forward and lowered her voice to a whisper.

And Mrs Simmons smiled. "It would be nice indeed. Getting the children to write something like that won't be a problem at all - they're mighty interested in Rob's life in the prison camp. But how do we go about getting those notes to Germany that quickly?"

Mrs Hogan stood. "Leave that to me. I _am_ his mother after all. Who do you think he got his resourcefulness from?"

"His father?" Mrs Simmons thought cheekily. And they both laughed. "Okay, I'll leave that part of the operation to you. I'll have the children write their notes this afternoon, so if you come buy here at three o'clock, I'll have them ready for you. For you're right: Rob deserves some recognition - if not for what he's doing now, then for what he's being doing for the war these past years!"

* * *

 _ **Note: Remember: tomorrow, Saturday, at 23:59.59 Hawaii Time (or considering the American daylight saving time has already started, let's say, "As long as it is still Saturday**_ **somewhere** _ **on this planet") is the deadline for sending in your PBA votes! We could use some more input, so if you haven't voted yet, please try and find a moment to do so! Doing it in the survey only takes about 5 minutes!  
**_

 _ **Survey address:**_

 **surveyplanet dot com / 56cc59c74209964614daf1ec**

 _ **(take out the spaces and translate to internet speak)**_


	39. Chapter 39

_Dear Colonel Hogan,_

 _I think you are the best!_

 _From Joey, 3rd Grade_

* * *

 _Dear Colonel Hogan,_

 _Please don't be upset that we didn't nominate you personally._

 _We know you did a very important job in bombing the Germans._

 _And we really enjoyed making up stories about you, and what you do in the prison camp._

 _Take care,_

 _Maddy, 4th Grade_

* * *

 _Dear Colonel Hogan,_

 _You know, in a way it should be a compliment that we take you for granted._

 _It means you are always amazing!_

 _From Samuel, 5th grade_

* * *

 _Dear Colonel Hogan,_

 _Mrs Simmons showed us a picture of you._

 _And I think you look awfully handsome._

 _And nice, too._

 _Will you marry me when you come back?_

 _Love, Sarah, 6th Grade_

* * *

 _ **Note: Remember: you have only a few hours left to send in your votes for the PBA! By 23:59.59 Hawaii Time (so about two and a half hours from now) they should be in!**_ _ **Doing it in the survey only takes about 5 minutes!  
**_

 _ **Survey address:**_

 **surveyplanet dot com / 56cc59c74209964614daf1ec**

 _ **(take out the spaces and translate to internet speak)**_


	40. Chapter 40

_"Telephone call for Group Captain James Roberts. Repeat: telephone call for Group Captain James Roberts. Group Captain James Roberts, please report to the reception desk. Immediately."_

"Blimey..." Roberts put down his Ersatz juice and grimaced at his co-pilot. "I hope nothing is wrong at home?" He got up, and quickly navigated the mostly subterranean maze of RAF Headquarters in the countryside south of London.

"Group Captain Roberts here," he announced himself to the young lady at reception.

"Ah, Group Captain Roberts. There is a phone call for you. From the United States."

"The United...?!"

"I believe it's urgent," the young lady said, and handed him the receiver.

"Yes? James Roberts here?"

 _"Is that you, Jim? It's Mrs Marie Hogan here. Rob's Mum. Rob Hogan."_

James Roberts glanced at the lady at the reception desk. "Mrs Hogan? What's wrong? Is...?" A cold hand closed around his heart. "Is Rob...?"

 _"No, no, don't worry,"_ came the voice from across the Atlantic. _"Rob is safe. Or as safe as he can be in the hands of a prison commandant."_

He let out a relieved sigh, and closed his eyes for a moment. The lady at the reception desk raised an eyebrow at him.

"Glad to hear that. How can I help you, Mrs Hogan?"

 _"Well, you see, Rob's had a bit of a disappointment lately. I might even say a huge disappointment. And we want to cheer him up. Are you still flying over Germany?"_

"I sure am."

 _"Good. Do you have pen and paper ready?"_

One gesture to the nice lady at the reception desk got him that. "Go ahead, Mrs Hogan. What do you want me to do?"

 _"I need you to take some notes first. Once we've got that, I would like you to fly over Rob's prison camp, and drop them there. Like they do with propaganda flyers."_

Roberts raised his eyebrows. "Drop propaganda flyers over Stalag 13?"

The lady at the reception desk cast him a sharp glance.

 _"No, not propaganda,"_ Mrs Hogan said on the other side of the Atlantic. _"They're the results of the Papa Bear Awards. Plus some little notes the kids here in Bridgeport have written for him. You think you can do that?"_

"Oh!" He glanced at the lady, who was still looking at him. "But the whole Papa Bear Awards... that could take a while. I don't think I have that long - we're going up in less than an hour."

 _"So much the better - then you can take the notes right away. But perhaps someone else could take the notes for you?"_

"Um..." Once again he glanced at the lady. And put his hand over the receiver. "Miss, can I ask you a really big favour?" He quickly explained what was required, and she nodded.

"You get ready, sir. I'll take the message, and bring it to you before you're scheduled to leave."

He flashed her a genuine toothpaste smile. "Thank you, luv."

With a few more words, he took his leave of Mrs Hogan, handed the reception lady the receiver, and went back to finish his flight plan for the day.

"Hello?" the young lady said tentatively in the receiver. "This is Mavis Newkirk. You have a message for Group Captain Roberts, I believe?"

.

It was a glorious day. Perfect for flying. But where was the lady with the message for Rob?

Impatiently, Group Captain Roberts paced back and forth in front of his plane. They were scheduled to leave in five minutes, and still...!

But suddenly he saw something odd coming in the direction of his plane. It was a... a bunch of balloons!?

Quickly, he made his way over. It had to be the receptionist, because if Mrs Hogan was anything like her son, this could be for none other than Rob Hogan.

And yes. "Here you are, Group Captain," the receptionist said, and with a smile, she handed him the whole bunch of balloons. Balloons in all the colours of the rainbow, each with a little card at the end of its rope.

He eyed the bunch warily. "What on earth am I supposed to do with those?"

"Drop them over Stalag 13," the lady said.

"Was that Mrs Hogan's idea?" he reproached. "She never said anything about balloons to me. Just about a message."

"They're there. See?" The lady pulled one of the cards forward. And another one.

And James read,

* * *

 _ **ROB HOGAN IS OUR #1 HERO**_

 **PBA WINNERS IN THE CROSSOVER CATEGORY**

.

 **GOLD**

 **THOMAS AND THE REALLY USEFUL CORPORAL**  
by booey875

.

 **SILVER**

 **THE McHALE OPERATION**  
by Sgt. Hakeswill

and

 **THE WRATH OF KLINK**  
by Bits and Pieces

.

 **BRONZE**

 **CONNED YOU TELL?**  
by Alverrann

* * *

"Well, you see..." the receptionist lady hesitated. "My brother is in that same camp. And he loves playing with balloons - he used to be a magician. I thought he could use some. To keep up his skills - you know."

"It certainly would be a difference from throwing out bombs," Marks, his co-pilot commented.

James sighed. "Alright, alright. Let's make a party of it. Sergeant, bring these balloons on board. We're going to release them over Hamelburg on the way."


	41. Chapter 41

"Hey Jim," Marks the co-pilot asked as they got ready for their flight. "How are we going to keep those balloons under control during take-off?"

"Don't ask me," Group Captain James Roberts grouched. "Try and strap them in if you can, I guess."

"Hm..."

But he needn't have worried: his crew was taking care of the balloons. Each of them had grabbed a handful of strings with the cards attached, and the balloons were happily bobbing around.

"It's like going to a party," bombardier Jenkins said.

"Anyone got a beer?"

"Maybe we can just sing something." And Marks already started. "You'll neeeeeever waaaalk alooooohoooone..."

"But what's on those cards?" Jenkins asked. He grabbed one of the cards attached to his bundle of balloons.

* * *

 _ **THERE IS NO ONE LIKE ROB HOGAN**_

 **PBA WINNERS IN THE LONG DRAMA CATEGORY**

.

 **GOLD**

 **LET'S PLAY FILL IN THE BLANKS**  
by Thaddeus MacChuzzlewit

.

 **SILVER**

 **CATALYSTS**  
by dust on the wind

.

 **BRONZE**

 **ONE MAN DOWN**  
by Bits and Pieces

* * *

"Hey guys," Roberts said. "We're supposed to fly a plane. Not starting a party."

But Jenkins grinned. "Can't help it, sir. When I see balloons, I just have to party!"


	42. Chapter 42

"Are these balloons meant for this Rob Hogan?" Jenkins asked once they had more or less safely reached cruising height.

"Yep," said Marks.

"So who is he?"

"He's a friend of Jim's," Marks explained. "But he's stuck in a prison camp. Apparently we've got to cheer him up."

"Nice idea," Jenkins said. "If I ever end up in a prison camp, I hope someone will send me some balloons, too. But ehm... what do all these messages mean? Is it some secret code or something?"

"Knowing Rob, I'd almost suspect it was," Jim muttered. "What else is on those cards?"

Jenkins pulled forward another one and read it out loud.

* * *

 _ **ROB MY BOY, YOU'RE MY HERO**_

 **PBA WINNERS IN THE TICKLING TEASER CATEGORY**

.

 **GOLD**

 **Getting stuck in an elevator is one thing.  
Getting stuck in an elevator with your worst enemy is another.  
Getting stuck in an elevator with your worst enemy and Klink is… well, let the nightmare begin.  
** _Story: The Elevator  
Author: Fortune Maiden_

 _._

 **SILVER**

 **Just because you dress like a Nazi, speak like a Nazi, feel like a Nazi and hang out with Nazis,  
doesn't mean you must be one.  
You might just be a missing, amnesiac POW in disguise.**  
 _Story: Let's Play Fill in the Blanks  
Author: Thaddeus MacChuzzlewit_

 _._

 **BRONZE**

 **Ah, Huntingburg.  
The peaceful suburb just outside of Cleveland, a perfect place to settle down after the war...  
Wait, did I say peaceful? Never mind.**  
 _Story: There Goes the Neighborhood  
Author: SamRosinenbomber_

* * *

"Yep. That sounds like a code for Rob," James sighed. "Really, that guy is crazy..."


	43. Chapter 43

Actually, Jim had to admit it was rather fun to have a bunch of balloons in the plane. It kept the crew busy during the long flight before their duties took over. As long as the Jerries stayed away, for most of them the flight was pretty boring. But this time, the balloons were being hit hither and thither, and they were having great fun. He would have liked to join in - but someone had to fly the plane...

"Are we there yet?" Marks asked.

"Dunno. Ask Heatherington-Poole. He's the navigator - I just fly this thing."

"But he's busy with his balloon. It got stuck behind a chair, and he's trying to get it out without popping it."

"Oh, for Pete's sake..." Jim shook his head, and glanced out of the cockpit to the landscape below. "I believe that's the Rhine, isn't it? Or is it the Meuse?"

"It could be the Oder instead. How long have we been underway?"

"Not far enough to reach the Wolga - I know that. Heatherington-Poole," he yelled in his mike.

A popping sound startled them both.

"Yes sir?" Heatherington-Poole came back over the headset. "You popped my balloon, sir."

"I popped your...?!" Roberts shook his head. "H-P, where are we? I do hope you've kept an eye on the flight charts as well."

"Yes sir. Of course, sir. We're..." There was some static. "Sir, we are approaching our balloon target in 50 seconds. With the present wind conditions, they should land nicely in the camp's compound. Shall I open the hatch, sir?"

"Yes. Bombardier, are you ready?"

"Aye, sir. Everybody gather their balloons... and..."

"But what about that balloon that got popped?"

"We'll just throw it out and hope for the best. Unless you've got a condome handy?"

"Sure. Always." Heatherington-Poole took out a condome from his breast pocket and quickly blew it up.

"So... card tied to it... I hope it's not that one with the slash stories. That would be a bit dubious." Jenkins chuckled and read what was written on it.

* * *

 _ **ROB - YOU ARE TRULY UNIQUE**_

 **PBA WINNERS IN THE MOST UNIQUE CATEGORY**

.

 **GOLD**

 **HERO NUMBER SIX**  
by konarciq

.

 **SILVER**

 **ALL THE COLONEL'S MEN**  
by EJ3

and

 **EVERYONE'S A CRITIC: THE SEQUEL**  
by Snooky-9093

.

 **BRONZE**

 **KÄTZCHEN**  
by LittleMissSpitfire

and

 **THE SHADOW OF WAR**  
by mmwaveprincess

and

 **THOMAS AND THE REALLY USEFUL CORPORAL**  
by booey875

* * *

"Well, at least it's unique," Jenkins chuckled. "Come on, guys, hatch open and let go of those balloons. Five... four... three... two... one... NOW!


	44. Chapter 44

"Colonel, come quick! The invasion is starting!"

"The invasion?!" Hogan bustled outside, with every man from the barracks in his wake. And found half the camp - make that the entire camp - watching the sky in the west.

Parachutes. Dozens of them. They seemed to drift on the wind in absolute silence, slowly, gracefully, like coloured confetti from a bright blue sky. (Yes, that was a (slightly altered) borrowed line - and without asking permission...)

"Colonel Hogan." Schultz carefully sidled up to the enemy officer. "If that's really the Allies arriving, you will put in a good word for me, won't you?"

"Sure I will, Schultz." Hogan frowned. "But it doesn't look like an invasion yet. There's what... maybe thirty of them?"

"Looks more like a troop of commandos then," Kinch agreed.

"C-c-c-commandos?" Schultz stuttered. "Ach du lieber, what will happen now? If the Kommandant finds out that there's commandos in the neighbourhood... Or worse: if major Hochstetter finds out..."

"You know, Colonel, it could be Colonel Crittendon and his men," Carter interjected. "We know he's coming, right?"

"Well, he sure is crazy enough to make an entrance like this," Newkirk muttered. "How the heck are we going to smuggle him into camp when all the guards have already seen him and his men coming down?"

"It looks like they'll be landing straight in the compound though," LeBeau pointed out. "But mon Colonel - are they really parachutes? They seem a bit small to me."

"They're your size," Newkirk gave back, immediately fending off the little Frenchman's indignant attack.

"Cool it, LeBeau," Kinch admonished. "But you're right. Those do look awfully small for parachutes."

"You know what I think?" Carter joined in. "I think they're balloons!"

"Balloons?" Everybody stared at him.

"He's gone crackers," Newkirk sneered. "Dropping balloons in war time - that's the latest."

"You know, I think he is right," Kinch said. "They're definitely not parachutes, and there's no people hanging on them either."

"But..."

"Sergeant," a flustered Langenscheidt interrupted them, addressing Schultz. "I have something for you." Nervously, he glanced at the Allied prisoners. "I think I'd better show you in private."

"If it's a balloon, you can show that here, Corporal," Hogan chuckled. "We're mature men - we've been around."

Langenscheidt already blushed up to the roots of his hair, and looked to Schultz for guidance.

"Don't mind him," Schultz said, and took him by the arm to lead him away. "What did you find? A secret radio? A tunnel?"

Langenscheidt shook his head. "This." From under his greatcoat, he pulled out a popped balloon. A card was tied to it, saying,

* * *

 _ **ROB HOGAN FOR PRESIDENT**_

 **PBA WINNERS IN THE SHORT COMEDY CATEGORY**

.

 **GOLD**

 **DIVERTISSEMENT**  
by dust on the wind

.

 **SILVER**

 **THE ELEVATOR**  
by Fortune Maiden

.

 **BRONZE**

 **THE MARTIAN**  
by Book'em Again

* * *

"What should I do with this, Sergeant?"

Schultz shook his head. "I don't know. Give it to Colonel Hogan," he decided.

* * *

 _Author's note: I think that's it for today. More tomorrow - same time, same channel! (Although I can't promise it will indeed be the same time.)  
_


	45. Chapter 45

Suddenly there was a loud _BANG!_

"What-what-what...? What was that?" Schultz fluttered, and quickly waddled back to the safety (?) of Colonel Hogan's immediate surroundings. "Colonel Hogan?"

Hogan nodded towards the fence. "Looks like one of the balloons got caught in the wire."

"Shall I go and get it?" Carter offered.

"No!" Schultz gave him a glare. "Prisoners are not allowed near the wire, Carter. How could you forget that? Langenscheidt - you go and get it. See what the card says."

Langenscheidt was back in a minute. "It's just like the last one, Sergeant," he stammered. "Only the text is different."

Schultz rolled his eyes. "Let me see."

And as Hogan read along over his shoulder, he deciphered,

* * *

 _ **THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE ROB HOGAN**_

 **PBA WINNERS IN THE SNAPSHOT CATEGORY**

.

 **GOLD**

 **USELESS**  
by Belphegor

.

 **SILVER**

 **SOMETHING WORTH KNOWING**  
by Zeragii

.

 **BRONZE**

 **THE DEBUT**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

* * *

"Well, that settles it," Hogan smirked. "I've always thought the Kommandant was useless. And here is the proof."

"How do you know that is a story about the Kommandant?" Langenscheidt ventured.

Hogan shrugged. "Call it a hunch."

"A... _hunch_?" A puzzled Langenscheidt turned back to Schultz. "Sergeant, what is a... a _hunch_?"

But Schultz shook his head. "I know nothing - _nothing_!"


	46. Chapter 46

Not far from there, an elderly man suddenly brought his van to a halt as a bright coloured balloon floated across the road. "Was ist dass denn wieder?" he muttered, and got out to investigate.

The balloon had floated down past the verge of the road a bit, and gotten entangled in the bushes there. It had a card hanging from it on a string. Oskar Schnitzer grabbed it, and read,

* * *

 _ **COLONEL HOGAN IS STILL THE BEST DARNED PILOT IN THE USAAF**_

 **PBA WINNERS IN THE ORIGINAL CHARACTERS CATEGORY**

.

 **GOLD**

 **LT. TIMOTHY DOYLE**  
from the story _**Divertissement  
**_ written by dust on the wind

.

 **SILVER**

 **MAJOR WALTHER**  
from the story _**Catalysts**_  
written by dust on the wind

.

 **BRONZE**

 **ANN HOGAN**  
from the story _**Light in the Night**_  
written by Goldleaf83

* * *

Schnitzer raised his eyebrows. What was this all about? Apparently it had to do something with Stalag 13. Ann Hogan maybe was the Colonel's sister or so. Maybe he should drop off this card with the Colonel the next time he went to camp?

He chuckled as he refocused on the first line on the card. Best darned pilot indeed. These people had no idea. Rob Hogan was "the best darned" at many other things as well. More things than he could count, for sure!


	47. Chapter 47

"Wraff wraff! Wroof!"

"Woof woof! Woof woof, woof!"

"Woof!"

"Grrrrrr..."

"Wraff! Wraff wraff, wraff! Wraff!"

"Wrooff!"

"Um, mon Colonel...?"

"Yes, LeBeau, what is it?"

"It seems the dogs have gotten one of those balloons, too. Shall I...?"

"Sure. I'm curious to see what's on that one. I don't know how, but it seems the results of the Papa Bear Awards are coming in by balloon this year. So yes, go and get it."

LeBeau walked over to the dog pen. "Hello boys and girls!" he greeted them. "What have you got there? Have you found a balloon? Come!" He clucked his tongue. "Let me see."

"Grrrrr..."

"Wroof wroof! Wroof!"

 _Pang!_

A cacophony broke out as all the dogs suddenly jumped - and then jumped on the popped balloon. "Wroof wroof, wroof! Wrafff! Grrr..."

"Okay, boys and girls - give it here now."

But LeBeau's plea fell on deaf ears. (Maybe not really deaf, but as they say in Holland: on East-Indian deaf ears.) Instead, the dogs were now fighting over the card, and the barking just got more and more intense.

"Wroof wroof wroof! Wraff! Wroof wroof! Grrrrr... Wroof! Wraff wraff wraff, wraff wraff, wraff! Grrrrrrrr... Wroof! Wroof wroof, wroof! Wroof!"

"Hey LeBeau, what are they saying?" came Carter's voice from behind him.

LeBeau glanced back at him. "They're probably reading what's on that card."

"Really?" Carter looked at them with renewed admiration. "Gee, I had no idea Schnitzer had trained those dogs to read. Hey, you know what? We could use them as messengers then!"

LeBeau rolled his eyes.

But in the pen, Wolfgang was indeed reading the results to his canine friends.

"Wroof wroof wroof! Wraff! Wroof wroof! Grrrrr... Wroof! Wraff wraff wraff, wraff wraff, wraff! Grrrrrrrr... Wroof! Wroof wroof, wroof! Wroof! Wroof! Wraff wraff, wroof! Wraff! Wroof. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... Grrrrrr... Woof woof! Wraff! Wraff! Wraff wraff, wraff! Wroof! Wroof wroof!"

* * *

( _Translation:_

 ** _IF IT WASN'T FOR ROB HOGAN, THE WAR WAS ALREADY LOST_**

 **PBA WINNERS IN THE CHALLENGE CATEGORY**

.

 **GOLD**

 **EPIPHANY**  
by Snooky-9093

.

 **SILVER**

 **DIVERTISSEMENT**  
by dust on the wind

and

 **OCEAN DEEP**  
by Hildegaarde

and

 **THE ELEVATOR**  
by Fortune Maiden

.

 **BRONZE**

 **LIGHT IN THE NIGHT**  
by Goldleaf83)


	48. Chapter 48

Meanwhile, one of the other balloons had drifted off to town. More precisely, it drifted by right in front of the nose of... major Hochstetter...

"What is this balloon doing here?" he screeched - only to screech to a halt.

There was a card attached to the balloon.

And on that card... a name.

 _ **! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !**_

 _The_ name...!

"Get that balloon...!" he yelled, and ran head over heels across the road, only _just_ being missed by the passing omnibus to Düsseldorf.

People started, and looked open-mouthed at the crazed major running zigzag across the street, making silly jumps now and then to try and grab the card dangling from that green balloon - but missing it every time.

But the balloon just floated on and on - just out of the major's reach.

And when a slight gust of wind lifted it up and carried it over a garden wall, he suddenly remembered who he was. And the gun he had in his pocket.

Click - _bangggg!_

The balloon was gone. And under the watchful eyes of half Hamelburg, the major stormed into the garden to retrieve the card with the mysterious name.

 _The_ name... _Nimrod!_

And... what was that?!

 _Hogan_?

Aha!

So they were related after all!

"I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!" he jubilated, and threw the card happily in the air.

"Craaa!"

And gone it was... picked up by a passing crow...

The major danced in rage and impotence for an hour and a half, ordering all crows in the Third Reich to be shot for treason.

But the card was gone.

And so was his proof...

* * *

 _(So what did the major read on that card, even if he didn't really take in all of it?_

 _ **VIVA COLONEL HOGAN**_

 **PBA WINNERS IN THE LONG COMEDY CATEGORY**

.

 **GOLD**

 **CAMP TALES**  
by willwrite4fics

and

 **YEAR OF THE MONKEY**  
by Book'em Again

.

 **SILVER**

 **THE NIMROD CAPER**  
by Book'em Again, Floating Pizza, Me and Sgt. Moffitt

.

 **BRONZE**

 **GET IN YOUR BUNK!**  
by willwrite4fics

and

 **THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD**  
by SamRosinenbomber)


	49. Chapter 49

Back in camp, there was some commotion, too. A whole bunch of inmates from Barracks 2 were gathered around a fallen comrade, and Wilson was yelling for a glass of water - an order a panicking Langenscheidt sought to follow at top speed, only to keep tripping over his own lanky legs.

"What's going on here?" Hogan demanded as he pushed himself through the throng.

"It's Garlotti, sir," Goldman reported. "It was the balloon. It must have attacked him or something - he picked it up, and suddenly he collapsed!"

"Okay, back off everyone - back off!" Hogan started to push everyone away from the victim, aided by his posse. "This could be ugly. Maybe this is the latest in chemical warfare - send up lethal balloons or something. Wilson?"

Wilson shook his head. "I don't think so, Colonel. Look." He handed him the card that was dangling from the string on the blue balloon.

Hogan raised his eyebrows in surprise. "What...?"

"I think the shock was simply too much for him." Wilson grinned. "Mind you, I can't complain myself either! For such a minor appearance!"

"Why? What does it say on that bloody card?" Newkirk wanted to know.

"Here." Hogan handed it to him.

But before Newkirk could read it out loud, they heard Wilson say, "Here, boy, Garlotti. Congratulations, man!"

"What...?" came it weakly from the fallen man on the ground. "What happened?"

"You won!" Newkirk told him. "Here. See?"

* * *

 _ **WE LOVE YOU, COLONEL HOGAN**_

 **PBA WINNERS IN THE CANON EXTRA CATEGORY**

.

 **GOLD**

 **GARLOTTI**  
in the story **_Daily Life in Stalag 1_ _3_**  
written by Goldleaf83

.

 **SILVER**

 **Dr. SUZANNE LECHAY**  
in the story _**Catalysts**_  
written by dust on the wind

.

 **BRONZE**

 **MARYA**  
in the story **_Divided Loyalties_**  
written by Crystal Rose of Pollux

and

 **OLSEN**  
in the story _**Hero Number Six**_  
written by konarciq

and

 **WILSON**  
in the story _**One Man Down**_  
by Bits and Pieces

* * *

"I won? I actually _won_? Mamma mia, what will my Papà say?! I'll be famous, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I..." And then he fainted again...

Newkirk grinned. "Somebody give that man a cigar."


	50. Chapter 50

There was someone else who got slammed in the head by the Papa Bear Awards. His name was Captain Fritz Gruber, and just that afternoon, he was keeping an eye on all the routines in Stalag 13. Of course, Kommandant Klink was his superior, but he'd like to think that without him - his acting executive officer - the camp would be a mess. (and that was not referring to the mess hall)

For whatever reason, odd things always occurred on his watch. But this time took the cake: a few dozen coloured balloons floating down from the sky?!

A deep frown rested above his nose. It had to be some kind of Allied diversion strategy of course. But what was on those cards that were dangling from the balloons? Secret messages perhaps?

He stepped off the porch to go and catch one that was floating towards the main gate - and got a soft bump in the head from a yellow balloon that came sliding off the roof.

Aha!

He picked it up by the card and read,

 _ **GO HOGAN, GO**_

And frowned. Go Hogan, Go? Surely those silly Allies didn't think even Colonel Hogan would have a chance to escape from their escape proof prison camp?

He shook his head, and read on.

* * *

 **PBA WINNERS IN THE SLASH CATEGORY**

.

 **GOLD**

 **DIARY OF LILY FRANKEL**  
by booey875

.

 **SILVER**

 **DEPRAVITY**  
by Bits and Pieces

.

 **BRONZE**

 **IN THE LAST DAYS II: TIME FALLING**  
by BradyGirl_12

and

 **NIGHT MOVES**  
by Bits and Pieces

* * *

And Gruber, he just shook his head. "I will need to get a professional cryptographer to take a look at this," he sighed. "I don't think I'll be able to make heads or tails from this one. Or... shall I just... Why not, really? Trying won't hurt!"

And he disappeared inside with the card he found, to get some paper (a lot of paper) and a pencil, and a quiet spot to try his hand at breaking the mystery code...


	51. Chapter 51

"Look, Colonel. Here's another one."

Hogan accepted the orange balloon from Kinch. "Anything interesting?" But he didn't wait for an answer, and just read,

* * *

 ** _SUPER MAN - SUPER HOGAN_**

 **PBA WINNERS IN THE SHORT GENERAL CATEGORY**

.

 **GOLD**

 **LIGHT IN THE NIGHT**  
by Goldleaf83

.

 **SILVER**

 **ON CHRISTMAS MORNING**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

and

 **THE FINAL MISSION**  
also by Sgt. Moffitt

.

 **BRONZE**

 **LUCK AND PLUCK**  
by Goldleaf83 (again)

and

 **MEA CULPA**  
by Snooky-9093

* * *

Hogan grinned. "Not many authors involved in that, are there? But congratulations to them nonetheless."

"I wonder how many more cards we're going to find," Kinch mused.

A nod. "And from where..." Hogan added.


	52. Chapter 52

"Schultz! Schultz!"

"Where is the fire?" Schultz came waddling over to the fence, where Carter was jumping up and down to attract his (and everyone's attention).

"No fire. But look, Schultz! One of the balloons got stuck in that tree there. Can I go and get it?"

"Nein! Nein! Und noch einmal nein - das macht drei! You cannot go out of the camp - not even to retrieve a misplaced balloon!"

Carter pulled his puppy face. "But Schultz, that might be the results of the Best Story of the Year! Surely you can't deny us to find out what was the Best Story of the Year? Hey, perhaps it's even a story about you!"

"Nein, das ist verboten! Das ist... what did you say? A story about me? I could win an award?! Oh, but that we will have to find out. Mittendorfer: go and climb that tree and get that balloon!"

"Jawohl, Sergeant." And Mittendorfer hurried away, placed his rifle at the foot of the tree and awkwardly climbed up under the watchful eye of a growing crowd of prisoners and guards. They saw him fumble a bit with the balloon, but then he happily waved to them, and climbed and then jumped down.

"Here you are, Sergeant."

"What is this?"

"The balloon. You asked for the balloon, right?"

"But... where is the card?"

"The card? Yes, there was a card attached to it. But you didn't ask for a card - you asked for the balloon. Didn't you ask for the balloon, Sergeant?"

"You Dummkopf! Get back up there and fetch that card! It's the card we're interested in - not the balloon!"

Now it was Mittendorfer's turn to pull a puppy face. "Jawohl, Sergeant. Verzeihung, Sergeant."

And a few minutes later, a chastised Mittendorfer handed the big Sergeant the card. It was torn a bit, but the text was still clearly legible. Actually, there was quite a lot of text on it...

* * *

 ** _OUR COLONEL HOGAN IS THE BEST OF THE BEST_**

 **PBA WINNERS IN THE QUOTES CATEGORY**

.

 **GOLD**

 _ **"Don't let them take me, Guv! Tell them I escaped! Tell them I'm deathly ill! Tell them I got shot!**_

 _ **Tell them I got shot while escaping while I was deathly ill!**_ "

Said by: Newkirk  
Story: Divided Loyalties  
Author: Crystal Rose of Pollux

.

 **SILVER**

 _ **"Bad luck is a bit of an understatement! I was stuck in there for hours. With Hochstetter. And Klink!"**_

 _ **"Mon Colonel, you deserve a medal."**_

 _ **"I deserve hazard pay."**_

Said by: Hogan and LeBeau  
Story: The Elevator  
Author: Fortune Maiden

.

 **BRONZE**

 _ **"Gentlemen, the rules of music – indeed, the laws of physics – dictate**_

 _ **that in any given musical key there can only be a finite number of dissonant notes.**_

 _ **Could you possibly try not to hit every single one?"**_

Said by: Doyle  
Story: Divertissement  
Author: dust on the wind


	53. Chapter 53

"Kamerad! Kamerad! Nicht scheissen!"

Langenscheidt's jaw dropped. "Bitte! Bitte, sir, you cannot say that! That is a very bad word!"

"Nonsense, man. I'm just telling you not to shoot me. See? I've got my hands up in the air."

"But..." Langenscheidt began, but the impatient visitor already cut him off.

"Now are you going to let me in, or do I have to stay out here until Doomsday comes?"

Langenscheidt gulped. "If you are sure...?"

"Yes, of course I'm sure. Why do you think I'm here, outside your gate, with my hands up? Now open the gate please, before I grow roots here."

Langenscheidt did as he was told, even though he heard a very audible groan behind him.

It was the enemy Colonel - Colonel Hogan. "Crittendon," he moaned. "What are you doing here?"

"Hello old chap. What - didn't they tell you? I found a mighty interesting place out in... what was it called again... Wippertale? Whopperdale? No, it was something else..."

"Wuppertal perhaps?" Langenscheidt ventured timidly.

"No, no, no. That can't be it - you are just a lowly Jerry guard - you couldn't possibly know all the military secrets locked into my brain. Ha ha!"

"Colonel." Langenscheidt had never heard such fatigue from Colonel Hogan, and he suddenly felt a little sorry for the man.

"Group Captain actually," Crittendon corrected him. "But why don't we go to your quarters, so I can show you my secret plans, eh?"

Langenscheidt's eyes widened at that. "S-s-secret plans?"

"Now don't you worry. You just go back to guarding the gate, okay?" Crittendon slapped Hogan on the back. "Now, old boy, let's see if we can have some fireworks. I'm surprised London didn't brief you on this. Now where did I put that paper..." He started searching, turning all his pockets and even the lining of his jacket and his cap inside out. And finally he pulled out a small rectangle of paper from his underwear... "Ah, yes, there it is. The location of this top secret lollipop factory - that's what they dubbed it in code; ain't that smashing? Now let's see. Um...

 **" _IF I MAKE A SLOGAN_**  
 _ **I MAKE IT FOR HOGAN**_

"Ha ha - that's nice, isn't it? It even rhymes nicely. Now let me see...

 **"PBA WINNERS IN THE CANON CHARACTER CATEGORY**

 **.**

 **"GOLD..."**

"Aaargh!" came it from a frustrated Hogan, making Crittendon turn to him with compassion.

"Everything alright, old boy?"

"I've had it - I've had it here!" Hogan's voice got louder and louder. "You can have it all - the missions, the kowtowing, the bootlicking, the maneuvering, the stupidity... I quit!" And with that, he brushed past a paralyzed Langenscheidt, pulled open the gate and marched out of camp...

Crittendon looked after him, rather crestfallen. "Oh my..." he whispered. "I hope it was nothing I said...?" He looked back at the paper in his hands. No. Nothing incriminating on there either. Well... then he better take over here and start organizing his men. They had to be ready to blow up that lollipop factory by 2600 hours, or else...

He spied around, and saw Hogan's closest friends coming towards him. Those were the guys he would use. "Hey, you four! Come and..."

"What did you do to the Colonel?" LeBeau demanded.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing!" Crittendon insisted. "But we do have a job to perform here, don't we. Now you, guard - shoo, shoo! This is top level security - not meant for Jerry's ears, no matter how stupid they look."

Langenscheidt backed off a little, but kept a wary eye on Colonel Hogan, who was walking off at a brisk pace into the woods. What should he do? Sound the alarm? Or discuss the matter with Sergeant Schultz first?

Meanwhile, Crittendon went on, "Okay, here is our plan. It's all in code, so pay attention. And don't interrupt me, please. I'm only going to say this once.

* * *

 _ **IF I MAKE A SLOGAN**_  
 _ **I MAKE IT FOR HOGAN**_

 **PBA WINNERS IN THE CANON CHARACTER CATEGORY**

.

 **GOLD**

 **KOMMANDANT KLINK**  
in the story _**Beyond the Descent**_  
written by Floating Pizza

(around him, there was a chorus of indignant snorts and mortified gasps following this announcement, but he paid them no heed)

and

 **NEWKIRK**  
in the story ** _Let's Play Fill in the Blanks_**  
written by Thaddeus MacChuzzlewit

.

 **SILVER**

 **CARTER**  
in the story _**Wax Wings**_  
written by Crystal Rose of Pollux

.

 **BRONZE**

 **SCHULTZ**  
in the story _**On Christmas Morning**_  
written by Sgt. Moffitt"

* * *

"Sacré chat!" LeBeau breathed. "No wonder mon Colonel ran off!"

Carter scratched under his cap. "So what are we going to do?"

"Well, that is simple, old boy. We are going to blow up that lollipop factory tonight!"


	54. Chapter 54

Meanwhile, a blue balloon with a smiley face on it softly floated into the Kommandant's office, and gingerly touched the Kommandant's shining head.

He swatted at it, busy as he was with his eternal paperwork. For not even an army of balloons could get this bookkeeper-kommandant to leave his beloved paperwork unattended.

But the balloon bounced off the wall and returned to him, this time touching him on the shoulder.

Another swat at it, and the blue shape collided with another wall, and immediately bounced back, landing right on top of... the spiked helmet. _The_ spiked helmet. The _revered_ spiked helmet. Oh my...!

Klink gave a yelp. "I don't want to be disturb... hey, what is that?" Tentatively, he reached for the balloon on his desk. "A message? On a balloon?" He turned over the card and read,

 _ **COLONEL HOGAN IS NO FINK**_

He chuckled. "Of course not. There is only one true FINK, and that is me - Wilhelm Klink of Stalag 13! Klink the FINK! Ha ha, that rhymes!" Now what else was there?

* * *

 **PBA WINNERS IN THE POETRY CATEGORY**

.

 **GOLD**

 **THE MAJOR AND THE CODE**  
by konarciq

.

 **SILVER**

 **MORNING IS BROKEN**  
by Bits and Pieces

.

 **BRONZE**

 **CLOSE YOUR EARS, CLOSE YOUR EYES AND KNOW NOTHING**  
by konarciq

* * *

He shook his head in condescension. Whatever it was, there was obviously no Ode to Klink, or something like that, which meant the whole thing was well beneath his notice.

And with a sigh, he pushed the balloon and its message off the table, and returned to his eternal paperwork...


	55. Chapter 55

Through the spring forest between Stalag 13 and the town of Hamelburg trudged a lonely man in a brown/black (read whatever colour you prefer) leather jacket. Occasionally, he muttered something unintelligible, but mostly, he just went blindly on. On the way to nowhere in particular. Just away.

"Enough is enough," was a line that regularly came up in his mutterings. "I'm going to quit this assignment. I'm going to quit the bloody army. I'm going to quit the whole bloody war!"

But he was disturbed in his morose thoughts by the sight of a red balloon dancing in the sunrays between the trees. It was a beautiful sight, really, and he stopped to watch. And only when the little red dancer began to float down to the ground did he jump forward to catch it - to prevent it from being popped by one of the branches lying around.

Of course there was another card attached to it. Sigh. Well, let's see if this one was any better.

 _ **NO ONE CAN WHAT HOGAN CAN**_

He snorted. "Sure they can. That's why they keep sending in that idiot of a Crittendon, right?" And he read on,

* * *

 **PBA WINNERS IN THE LONG GENERAL CATEGORY**

.

 **GOLD**

 **DAILY LIFE IN STALAG 13**  
by Goldleaf83

.

 **SILVER**

 **WHAT'S IN A NAME**  
by Snooky-9093

.

 **BRONZE**

 **KÄTZCHEN**  
by LittleMissSpitfire

* * *

He shook his head. "Those are all stories that focus on everyone else. And I know the other guys are mighty important - I'd be the last to deny that. But this is not going to convince me to go back. If they want to keep me on as Papa Bear, they'll have to come with something better than that..."

And he let go of the balloon, and let it float away on the wind, in the direction of Glückenheim...

* * *

 _Author's note: and I'm calling it quits for today, too. There's only a few left: short drama, episode, visiting crossover character, and of course the all-important "best story of 2015"..._

 _Meanwhile, congratulations to all of you who have something to celebrate already!_


	56. Chapter 56

Life had been exceedingly boring lately, General Burkhalter reflected as he stood gazing out the window of his office in Hamelburg. It was always the same: commanding a bunch of fools to do things no one else wanted to do - because if there was something everone wanted to do, you could always use the privilege of rank to do it yourself. If there every was anything that everyone wanted to do, that is.

But no. After many years in different wars, General Burkhalter was convinced of one thing. If you wanted excitement, you should never accept a promotion to General.

He used to be quite an adventurous soul. Going on safari in Africa, parachute jumping, riding on a camel through the Sahara, take the Transsiberian Express, fencing tournaments... So many memories. And so little of that kind of adventure was found in his present life.

He was certain it was the boring quality of this job that had gotten him so overweight. Even in his younger years, when he had the athletic build of an Adonis, he had always had a craving for luxurious and copious food - but at least in those days, his extreme physical exercise burnt up the calories overnight. All he had to show for his exercise programme these days were the waddling walks he took around the various prison camps.

Yes. Life was utterly boring nowadays. But then again, someone had to do the job. And it seemed he was stuck with it - at least until the war was over. If only something...

Hey, what was that?

A yellow balloon gently floated by on the wind. A balloon with a card attached to it!

"Guard!" he called, and immediately, one of his staff came rushing into the study and came to attention.

"Jawohl, Herr General?"

"There is a balloon floating around in the street. A yellow one. With a card attached to it. Bring me that card."

A salute. "Jawohl, Herr General."

The guard disappeared, and Burkhalter stepped closer to the window, to keep an eye on the dancing balloon. Within seconds, all his guards appeared from the doorway, and quickly started chasing it.

He chuckled to himself as he saw them blundering about, trying to catch that balloon. They even disappeared out of sight around the corner, but at long last they came back - proudly carrying the yellow balloon with its card dangling from a string.

Soon there was a knock at his door.

"Herein!"

The same guard as before came in, and presented him with the yellow balloon. "To your orders, Herr General."

"Danke. Dismissed!"

He waited till the door was closed again, before casting an inquisitive look at the card. It said,

* * *

 ** _HURRAY FOR HOGAN!_**

 **PBA WINNERS IN THE VISITING CROSSOVER CHARACTERS CATEGORY**

.

 **GOLD**

 **THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE**  
in the story **_Thomas and the Really Useful Corporal_**  
written by booey875

.

 **SILVER**

 **QUINTON McHALE**  
in the story _**The McHale Operation**_  
written by Sgt. Hakeswill

.

 **BRONZE**

 **FACE**  
in the story **_Conned You Tell?_**  
written by Alverrann

* * *

He raised his eyebrows - a major physical achievement that brought immediate sweat to his brow. What was this all about? What had these names (if you could call them that) to do with Hogan? At least he assumed this Hurray was meant for the Colonel in Klink's care. He'd know if there was another Hogan in the area.

Oh well. It was too tiresome to try and solve that puzzle. So he called the guard back in.

"Jawohl, Herr General?"

"File this card under 'unsolved mysteries, low priority'."

"Jawohl, Herr General."

And that was that.


	57. Chapter 57

Night had fallen over Wuppertal. (Boom!) It was nearly 2400 hours, and five suspicious creatures were creeping through the bushes of the industrial park near the railway station. They were dressed all in black, and their faces had been made black with soot as well.

"We have to hurry," their leader said in a stage whisper. "We only have two hours left till 2600 hours, and London expects us to get this job done right."

Carter was about to correct him again about the time, but Kinch placed a hand on his arm and shook his head.

"Don't waste your breath," he mouthed.

So instead, they kept moving along, each carrying their bags full of dynamite and fuses, until at last Crittendon held up his hand. "There it is!" he announced. " _Leopold's Lutschers_. A very clever disguise, but not clever enough to fool a Crittendon!"

The other four men watched the small building with something akin to apprehension.

"Looks like a candy shop to me," Newkirk muttered.

"Of course it does. That's the disguise: a lollipop shop!" Crittendon exclaimed, totally forgetting the need to be quiet.

"Um... Colonel...?" Kinch began, but he was immediately cut off.

"Group Captain, if you please, young man. Not Colonel. I'm British, remember?"

"As if I could forget..." Kinch sighed. "Alright then, _Group Captain_. What do you want us to do? Shall we scout out that shop, to see where we best place the dynamite?"

He got a hearty slap on the back. "That sounds like a smashing idea, old chap. Let's do it. You, you and you stand watch. Keep an eye on anything suspicious. And you..." He pointed at Carter. "You are coming inside with me. Tally ho - don't dawdle now!"

Reluctantly, the men did as they were told. "Try and keep him from doing something completely foolish, will you?" LeBeau hissed to Carter as they parted.

Carter nodded, and with some apprehension, he followed Crittendon to the door of the candy shop. It was locked of course, but that was no trouble for someone like Crittendon: he simply picked up a stone and threw it through the window.

The crash made everyone jump to shelter, but Crittendon looked around in innocent wonder. "What are you all so jumpy about? Come on, Carter my boy. We have to scout out the area."

"But..." Newkirk started, but he was too late already.

Inside the shop, Carter and Crittendon carefully looked around. Tentatively, Carter picked up a lollipop from the counter. But instantly, Crittendon was at his back, snatching it away from him.

"Don't touch that! It's loaded with atoms!" he all but panicked.

Carter rolled his eyes. "Of course it's loaded with atoms. Everything is loaded with atoms - even you and me!"

"What?!" Crittendon looked horrified. "Am I... Oh boy... No, no, no, that can't be right. I'm not..."

"Yes, you are!" Carter insisted. "Everything is loaded with atoms. That's what the world - the universe is made of!"

"Then we need to blow up the universe!" Crittendon decided. "We can't risk the Jerries to develop the atomic bomb before we do! How much dynamite do we have?"

At that tense moment, a bang was heard outside...

"What's that?" Crittendon rushed to the window, and saw Kinch pulling something from a nearby bush. "What is that man up to now? Doesn't he know we have a factory to blow up?" He strode outside to give Kinch a good piece of his mind - but stopped in his tracks when he saw the black man holding up a similar card with instructions as he had had himself earlier in the evening.

"What's that?" Carter asked. "Did you find another balloon?"

"Yes. It must have blown off course a bit," Kinch said, and pulled the card free.

"What does it say, man? Come on, speak up!"

And Kinch read,

* * *

 ** _HOGAN THE GREAT_**

 **PBA WINNERS IN THE SHORT DRAMA CATEGORY**

.

 **GOLD**

 **BEYOND THE DESCENT**  
by FloatingPizza

.

 **SILVER**

 **WAX WINGS**  
by Crystal Rose of Pollux

.

 **BRONZE**

 **EPIPHANY**  
by Snooky-9093

* * *

LeBeau let go of his breath. "Good thing the Colonel isn't here to see this. Wasn't that the story featuring Klink?"

Newkirk nodded, but Crittendon sharply drew in his breath.

"Oh my... Bad luck, old chaps. Do you realize what this means?"

They all looked at him, expecting the worst. (After all, this was Crittendon...)

"This means, that our mission for tonight is cancelled due to the blizzard!"

"What bli...?" Carter began to ask, but Newkirk quickly stifled the question.

"Never mind that now. Let's leave _Leopold's Lutschers_ in peace, and just head back to camp..."


	58. Chapter 58

Hogan had found a comfortable spot on a thick branch in an old pine tree. The night was quiet, only disturbed by the little sounds of nocturnal little animals milling about. There were no patrols out looking for him, no sign of dogs roaming the woods - and frankly, he was a bit disappointed. Did he merit so little consideration that that fool Klink didn't even bother to send out search parties for him?

He snorted softly. Perhaps winning that stupid award had gotten so much to Klink's head that he never even noticed that his prize prisoner was absent. No one ever paid any attention to what that bubblebrain Langenscheidt stammered anyway, so... Oh well. So much the better. He knew the country like the back of his hand; surely it wouldn't take him more than a day or two to reach the coast and get back to England. And from there on - home!

Perhaps he could even take up that General's offer to do a bond selling tour across the US. That could be fun. A hero's welcome, with all the perks that came with it. Like lots of girls.

Suddenly, he noticed something odd out of the corner of his eye. A... a phantom like shape moving through the air, occasionally lit up by the meagre moonlight. It could have been one of those blasted balloons - if it were not for the fact that it stopped every few seconds. As if it was watching him.

Was it a Gestapo balloon perhaps? Covert surveillance? Blimey - if they had this kind of surveillance devices, their technical progress must have been tremendous lately! He really had to get back to England to help put a stop to it all! Or maybe...

No. Better check it out first.

Carefully, he got up from his branch and started clambering down the tree. The phantomlike thing hovered above him, but as soon as he started climbing the tree nearest to it, it jumped away out of reach.

For a few minutes he chased it from tree to tree, but just when he was beginning to feel rather foolish, suddenly its battery seemed to have run out and it gently came floating down to the ground.

A chatter was heard among the leaves, and for a moment, he thought he could make out a squirrel jumping from one tree to another. Addison's Gestapo squirrel perhaps? Why else would a squirrel be lugging about with a surveillance device?

He approached the object with caution. It was about balloon shaped, and... it _was_ a balloon.

He groaned. "Not another one...!" But despite himself, he picked it up and turned over the card to see the results of yet another PBA category.

* * *

 _ **WE CARE ABOUT YOU, ROB**_

 **PBA WINNERS IN THE EPISODE CATEGORY**

.

 **GOLD**

 **WAITING FOR PAPA BEAR**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

.

 _Waiting for Papa Bear_... That's right. He wasn't just Colonel Robert E. Hogan - he was Papa Bear himself! And back at the camp, his men needed him. They relied on him to keep them safe - not just his own core group, but all the men in the camp. Possibly even a number of the guards. Plus quite some resistance people on the outside. Could he really let them all down and leave just like that?

.

 **SILVER**

 **THE STEPS WE MUST TAKE**  
by Geometrid

and

 **WHEN DUTY CALLS**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

.

This was getting scary. _When duty calls_... After all, he _was_ a soldier...

.

 **BRONZE**

 **HERO NUMBER SIX**  
by konarciq

and

 **IS THERE A TRAITOR IN THE HOUSE?**  
by Pippi1.0

and

 **SO SIOUX ME**  
by Atarah Derek

* * *

He almost choked. A traitor? He?! Well, to hell with his escape plan - you could say a lot of bad things about Rob Hogan, but _not_ that he was a traitor! There!

He tore the card off its string, crumpled it and thrust it into his pocket. He'd made up his mind. He was going straight back to Stalag 13 - right now!


	59. Chapter 59

It was well past "2600 hours" by the time everyone made it back to camp. In fact, Hogan met his men right outside the famous tree stump. And they were just his men.

"What are you guys doing outside the wire?" he chided.

It was Kinch who took on the role of spokesperson. "We had that mission in Wuppertal, Colonel. But it turned out to be a fake. So we've come back - and fortunately, we managed to get Crittendon lost on the way. We'd really prefer having you in charge of us, Colonel."

The others nodded. "Yeah," Carter added. "Blowing up lollipop shops isn't what war is about, is it?"

"Lollipop shops?!"

"Long story." Newkirk shook his head. "But it's good to have you back, Governor."

"You wouldn't believe how we missed you!" LeBeau gushed, and threw himself in Hogan's arms.

And Newkirk cocked his head. "Typical French melodrama, if you ask me. Now, shall we get inside and catch a few winks, before the guards find us here?"

That seemed like good advice, and soon, all was quiet as it should be in Stalag 13.

The next morning however found a new war on their doorstep. Roll call hadn't even started when they heard two voices arguing loudly in the compound. _Female_ voices!

The men didn't know how quickly they could get dressed and file out. And there they saw it.

"It's mine! I saw it first!" Hilda screamed.

"You cheated! It floated in my direction!" Helga gave back.

"You always want everything first - the Colonel, and the coffee, and...!"

"Hah! Look who's talking!"

"But I saw this first! It's mine! Give it to me!"

"No! I caught it!"

"But I saw it first!"

"Liar!"

"Cheat!"

"Liar!"

"Cheat!"

"Ladies, ladies, ladies!" came Hogan's voice suddenly in between. "What seems to be the problem?"

Both girls started talking at the same time, and Hogan held up his hands. "Alright, why don't you (he pointed to Helga) tell your story to Newkirk here, and you (he pointed to Hilda) tell your story to LeBeau."

The girls glared at each other, but obediently did as they were told. And after a moment, Newkirk and LeBeau approached the Colonel, with the two seething girls in their wake.

"Um... Colonel?"

"Yes, Newkirk?"

"It's all about this balloon they found this morning. One of the PBA balloons. Apparently Hilda claims she saw it first, but Helga is the one who caught it."

Hogan shook his head. "So that's what all the fuss is about? Well, I think I have a perfect solution. Ladies - those PBA balloons are meant for us prisoners anyway. And this year, each card seems to have a special message for me. So can you please hand over the card to me? And then you can pop the balloon and the whole fight is over. We don't need a second war in here - one is more than enough."

Chastised, Hilda pulled out a hair pin and quickly popped the balloon. "Sorry, Rob," she mumbled.

"And the card?" Hogan demanded.

The girls looked around. "It must be around here somewhere," Helga muttered.

"Here." Carter squatted down and picked up a small scrap of paper. "This looks like the same paper the other cards were made of."

Hogan let out a sigh. "Don't tell me you ripped up the card in anger, did you, ladies?"

Helga and Hilda turned as red as a beetroot. "Well... maybe we did..."

"Okay then. You girls kiss and make up, and then everybody on their knees. Find the pieces!"

It took them half an hour or so, with Hogan and Kinch trying to piece everything together. "I hope we're putting it together the right way," Kinch sighed. "What if we mix up the results?"

"Oh well." Hogan sighed. "We'll never know, will we? At least not until we get back home and get the results first hand." He looked at their work. "But I'm pretty sure we're doing a decent job here. Now let's see..."

* * *

 _ **I LOVE YOU, ROB**_  
 _ **PLEASE STAY SAFE**_

Hogan blinked. "That must be from my Mum," he said quietly.

But Kinch already read on,

 **PBA WINNERS - THE BEST STORY OF THE YEAR**

.

 **GOLD**

 **DAILY LIFE IN STALAG 13**  
by Goldleaf83

.

 **SILVER**

 **LET'S PLAY FILL IN THE BLANKS**  
by Thaddeus MacChuzzlewit

.

 **BRONZE**

 **WHAT'S IN A NAME**  
by Snooky-9093

* * *

And with that, the routine of daily life in Stalag 13 resumed its normal course.

.

.

* * *

 _Author's note:_

 _._

 _Well, that's all for now, folks!_  
 _Congratulations to all the winners, as well as to all the nominees who put up such a good fight.  
If you didn't win anything, but would like to know how your nominated work did,  
feel free to drop a line to me (konarciq) via PM or mail, and I'll give you your personal results.  
_

 _._

 _But first a solid round of applause for Steffiundaxel,_  
 _who did a great job on the double checking!_

 _ **Thank you for a terrific job, Steffi!**_

 _._

 _A great thank you, too, to everyone who sent in their nominations and their votes – without you guys, there wouldn't be a PBA!_  
 _And it's great to see so much enthusiasm, year after year after year,_  
 _and every time with new people joining in!_

 ** _Another great thank you to Snooky-9093, Sgt. Moffitt, Basketballgirl Kaitlin and willwrite4fics_** _,_  
 _who made this fun competition possible this year with their invaluable assistance.  
By the way, **we still need someone to send out the congratulatory notes** via ffnet PM,  
advising the winning authors to report to the PBA mail in order to have their awards sent out.  
Any volunteers?  
_

 _And also a round of applause already for the members of the PBA committee:_  
 _ **Book'em Again, Sgt. Moffitt and Snooky-9093**_  
 _It's been fairly quiet on the PBA front this year,_  
 _but you were there whenever I needed a soundboard!_

 _._

 _Then an important request:_  
 **Can all the winners please report by email to papabearawards at yahoo dot com**  
 _in order to get their award(s) sent out?_  
 _They will be designed this year by Basketballgirl Kaitlin and willwrite4fics,_  
 _and from what I hear, she's already quite far in the production of them!  
I've seen a sample - they're great!  
(And for those of you who wonder what happened to last year's awards,  
Belphegor recently told me she is finally catching up with them after real life got in the way for a while.  
So don't be surprised if you receive an award for last year's winning works some time soon, too!)  
_

 _._

 _The winning stories (gold, silver and bronze!) will shortly be included in the ffnet community with the PBA winners from the past years._

 _They will some time in the foreseeable future be listed on the PBA website as well, but I can't promise you when I'll get around to do that ;-)  
(I still need to do that for last year's winners as well... and I believe the year before as well... Hm... )  
_

* * *

 _._

 _So now we're back to happily reading. And writing._

 _Thank you all for your infectious enthusiasm, and I hope to see your new stories, nominations and votes again next time around!_

 _._

 _Your librarian,_

 _konarciq_  
 _(who would like to take the opportunity to thank everyone who voted for her work!)_


End file.
